I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Ville Valoville!


Okay, I am officially worried about Johhny G. Jumbo, a.k.a. The Viking King Blog Slayer. His blog just disappeared, POOF and he has not made any comments lately. Now it wouldn't surprise me if he pissed off some random blogger by insulting their blog, cussing them out and then they managed to get him kicked off Blogger. But for him to not at least check in and cuss me out at least once has me worried. He doesn't lead the healthiest lifestyle either....he drinks Jack Daniels for breakfast, he rides motorcycles, he beats people up and he has sex with 4 women at the same time. He's not your average blogger and we all love him for it. So where ARE you, Johnny G? I'm sending prayers out that you are OK!

Today's blog entry is written by a special guest blogger, Sparkle!

Your special guest blogger who can take a great picture of herself.

[Sparkle had a project due for Earth Science on Dec 21. The project called for designing a map of an imaginary place and writing a two page paper about the imaginary place. But its been a hard semester and Sparkle's brain wasn't giving off its usual sparks. She turns to dear old Mom for some inspiration. My dilemma was to think up something that would be fun for her, yet something viable for a small Earth Science project. Well, it shouldn't surprise anyone what direction my mind traveled in....
Sparkle's favorite band: H.I.M.
Sparkle's favorite rockstar: Ville Valo
Sparkle's favorite TV show: Viva La Bam!
We started drawing the map together....after that she didn't need me anymore as the sparks were flying by then. So submitted for your approval....Sparkle's Earth Science Project!]

Ville Valoville
Written By: Sparkle

The Van Halen Pavilion, The 9:30 Club, The Hard Rock Haunt, The Dunn Dome, Pontius Palace, and Steve-O Stadium were all booked by HIM, the most popular band in Ville Valoville since Elvis Presley. Girls screamed, groupies formed lines, and Metallica cut their hair. It was a time of decadence and blackouts, and HIM’s first stop was the 9:30 Club in Hamburger County.

The 9:30 Club was known for the drinks, the girls, the music, and parties. The typical after-party consisted of booze, broads, and destruction. When HIM played, all of these elements followed and made them the most desired band to see. On the stage they were intimate with the crowd, energetic, and reckless. But that was only the 9:30 club…The Van Halen Pavilion was a different story.

Their next stop was The Van Halen Pavilion on Gas Island where HIM was known to cause controversy. Valo, who is the lead singer for HIM, was being his usual self…drunk. He ranted about problems and caused small riots the night HIM played. He was charged for a death on a teen girl who was trampled on during one of the riots. He attended the funeral at the National Goth Cemetery in Margeraville the following week. This was a typical show at the Van Halen Pavilion.

Their show in Raab County was near the Poo River at the Hard Rock Haunt. This show was more of a laid back crowd. No one died, no one caused controversy, and the crowd was wonderful. The music was never too loud and the crowd was always energetic towards the band. This was one of the best shows HIM played, according to Margera Revolver Magazine.

The show in the capital of Ville Valoville, Margeraville, is the most anticipated show the Dunn Dome has ever had. The show packed a full house the night of the concert and even the infamous Bam Margera showed up, a local to Ville Valoville. Rumor has it that the band visited the Dico Museum and Planetarium just hours before the big show. Valo thought it was intriguing even though Linde, the bass player for HIM, thought it was boring and useless.

Pontius Palace was packed the next night in Mustard River City for a show by HIM, which Rake Yhon did not attend. Pontius Palace held 8,000 people that night in Border County, which had never sold out before. Allegedly, Steve-O from the “Don’t Try This At Home” videos, was seen jumping into the Poo River just a few miles away from the palace. Steve-O then entered the Palace for the concert naked. He was forced to leave the building shortly afterwards.

Steve-O followed HIM to their next show at the Steve-O Stadium, located in Knoxville County near the Ape-A-Lachian Mountians. Steve-O Stadium fans tend to be daring, suicidal-like, and a bit crazy. Naturally, the stadium was wrecked and the stage was demolished. It was HIM’s last show of the Ville Valoville tour and the band was willing to leave it all behind after such a sinful tour.

HIM’s tour produced a wide range of new fans, young and old. They continue to be the most anticipated band to come to Ville Valoville and they continue to pay for damages done. HIM plans to launch another tour through Ville Valoville without all of the damages.

[So where does she get this stuff from? Even I couldn't have come up with a tour of such epic proportions, where mass chaos ruled, naked people just showed up and entire stadiums were demolished. Someone even died...but then again, someone HAD to die so she could include the National Goth Cemetery. Please note that the band are continuing to pay for all the damages.

My favorites:
The Poo River, the meandering I-CKY Highway that goes around your entire ass to get to your elbow and the Mustard River City....when there's no Mustard River anywhere to found!]

Dear God, what is her teacher going to think?!!!!

Ville Valo and everyone else in Ville Valoville would like to wish you a Merry Christmas!

He's ready to demolish a few stadiums in your town, too. But he'll cover all the damages if you put him on the E-Z Payment Plan.

And here's your Christmas Laugh of the Day:

Santa had been dipping into the eggnog, I think.
You can find a bunch of these at http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogallery?coll=sfe-events-headlines&index=1
(Thanks Texas Girl! http://txgurl.blogspot.com/ )