I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My favorite holiday is here. I have pumpkins to carve and scary movies to watch in the dark. Its going to be great. My biggest regret is not having time to do my "Halloween Pic of the Day" for the entire month! Oh well, that's what God invented "Next Year" for.

I have some candles ready for Day of the Dead too, to burn in honor of the dead.

I'm feeling somewhat better. This past weekend was rough, I just couldn't do anything but wallow in my pathetic-ness. I'm still a sweaty, clammy mess but not nearly as sweaty and clammy as a few days ago. I think this was definitely the flu I have had. Or payback from an innocent bunny who lost his life under my tires.

Thank you for the well-wishes and thank you to
GREG for the telephone call, I did get your message!! I thought I was going to bust out crying, thank you for the well-wishes!

Okay, I gotta run for now but I hope all you ghouls and goblins have a hot holiday! MUCH LOVE!

Sunday, October 29, 2006
I, I, I


I'm depressed.
I keep bursting into tears.
I feel bad.
I'm having trouble breathing.
I'm weak as water.
I can't go anywhere because I'm having bathroom problems.
I need to be studying but I just can't concentrate.
I have friends I am worried about.
I have online friends I am worried about.
I just feel worried.
And sick.
I'm just not myself....at ALL.
Sometimes I wish I could go into some kind of hyperbaric chamber and just be put to sleep for a few days.

Friday, October 27, 2006


George Bush the Great and Bushy has struck me down for messing with Stew. Now I have a COLD. I feel like poo.

If I have learned any great lessons over the past week or so, it is:
1. Politics suck, just like they always have.
2. If you voice a political viewpoint, everybody is going to hate you.
3. DON'T mess with the Stewmeister. You're safer to go messing with Sasquatch, like the commercials.
4. If you do mess with Stew, you better stock up on cold medications, because Bush is going to lay down the voodoo on you.

These are important life lessons.

And its almost Halloween. Me favorite holiday.

Thursday, October 26, 2006


Voting time is almost here! To help you practice, you can cast a special vote right here, today and now.

The issue? I have a research paper to write for school. We can choose something we are interested in to write about. I have narrowed my choices down to two:

1. The History of Halloween vs. Organized Religion.

2. The History of the Writ of Habeas Corpus and Why the Current Suspension is Damaging to
Our Country.

Yes, both are serious contenders, no kidding around. Obviously both subjects are a current thang right now and I've had both on my mind. There's loads of info out there on each subject. So your duty is to vote what you think I should write the paper on.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


I am going to turn over a new leaf. I hereby promise not to be paranoid anymore. OF COURSE President Bush loves us. Each and every one. OF COURSE He would never, ever abuse His power. We should never question Him, because He moves in ways the likes of us will never be able to understand anyway. Of course, once the ACLU is labeled as an "enemy combatent" and jailed, and then Stew gets jailed for just being Stew, I shall visit him every two weeks and bring him some of that soup he likes. I will try to get him out of jail by following the Pot-Holed Tar Road (a.k.a. I-95) up to the Washington City to visit Bush, the Great and Bushy, and beg for Stew's release and we'll make a reality TV show from it.
Brenda as "Dorothy"
Wordnerd as "Scarecrow"
Ryan as "Tin Man"
Greg as "The Lion"
Lacy as "Toto"
Judy as "The Good Witch"
Ann Coulter as "The Bad Witch"
Liberal Tree Hugger as "That Tree in the Forest"
Pete Doherty as "The Poppy Field".......LOL!

Will the gang persuade Bush the Great and Bushy to recognize Stew's habeas corpus rights and release him from jail? Let's hope so....because

Monday, October 23, 2006


On Friday I posted a link in the comments section of THE WEST VIRGINIA SURF REPORT to a video where a newscaster person was going off about President Bush getting the Writ of Habeas Corpus suspended. Say what?, you may ask....here's the link: (Love ya, Miss Joy Division!)

My main reason for posting the link was that I couldn't understand why Bush had suspended the Writ. In fact, I never really said a word about Bush, but that didn't stop a couple of Bush-Lovers from popping their butt corks. So I had to go on a big Defending Myself spree - fun, fun.
STEW would have laughed. Or maybe he would have been proud, who knows?

My main detractor was arguing that it only applies to aliens. Yeah it says that but it also says anyone who is deemed “illegal enemy combatents". Woah, that could BE ANYBODY! And the Constitution prohibits the suspension of habeas corpus except in cases of "rebellion and invasion".......neither state seems to apply to our country at the moment, so WTF?

Look, if you love Bush, that's your perogative, but come on....you gotta admit something really stinks about this whole thing. Its not a matter of Democrats and Republicans, Liberals and Conserative, or even Stew and Tree Hugger. This is a matter of one of your rights being banished. You are less free right now than you were before.

And lets just imagine that Bush is being on the up and up....what good does suspending the Writ of Habeas Corpus do? What do you think is going to happen to OUR soldiers when they are captured? Not that they would have gotten a trial anyways, but they DEFINITELY won't get it now.

But its our duty as a country to do the right thing no matter what we are up against. Or at least it used to be our duty.

Just sayin'.

Friday, October 20, 2006


Isn't it funny how you can see something everyday, day in and day out, and yet you don't REALLY SEE?

There is this homeless guy that sits in his wheelchair at the off-ramp on the highway and panhandles. I will give him money sometimes IF I am in the lane next to him....I mean, the guy is in a wheelchair, I'm not going to summon him to come over to me....I'm scared he will get killed.

But anyway, there his sits and he has this artificial leg. It has a shoe on it but the leg of it is just an iron bar that sticks out from his jeans. He holds his little sign that says something like "Homeless, hungry, God bless" and I really feel for the guy.

So today I'm sitting on the off-ramp and there he is. I'm in the other lane, so I'm not going to give him any money today but I am just kind of looking at him and not really thinking, when suddenly it hits me......
If he's wheelchair bound, why does he need an artificial leg?

Somebody please chastise me and tell me how wrong I am for thinking that, you know, this guy can probably walk. But...can you see where I'm coming from?
Please tell me how mean and trite I am being so I can correct this flaw.

*Also, Stew, I don't feel like I should run over him.....he's not cute and fuzzy.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Ominous - 'ä-m&-n&s - adj -
: being or exhibiting an omen : PORTENTOUS; especially : foreboding or foreshadowing evil :

Have you ever realized that something you previously thought was just a routine, every day thing is suddenly ominous?

For me, it is acorns. Acorns appeared in a poem I wrote the other day, I kicked one and I drove over it. It gave a loud, satisfying craaaaaack as I did so, but now I fear the God of Acorns is exacting his revenge upon me, by messing with my mind.

All of a sudden the acorns are everywhere. I am trying to avoid them and I can't. Everywhere I drive, I'm hitting them left and right. My acorn death toll is rising. And when I'm not hitting them, they are falling on my car, thumping it loud enough to chip paint.

But the worst was today. I was the designated Lunch Gopher today. (Get it? Lunch Gopher? Go fer? Bwaahahahaaha!) So I go out to a local restaurant to pick up the lunch when I notice them.....there on the little traffic islands of grass they like to build in parking lots. Acorns. Lots of 'em. Big ones. Quite possibly the biggest ones I've ever seen.

And yet.....there were no trees these acorns could have fallen from.
*cue "Twilight Zone" music*

How did they get there? And why? And why do they keep multiplying? Why are they everywhere? And where are the squirrels that are supposed to be gathering them? What has gone wrong in the ecosystem? Why is this happening to me?

Monday, October 16, 2006


My last week of class is the week before Thanksgiving, and I am so thankful, believe me. I am so behind on everything. Next semester, one class. You know, it is going to take me forever to get a degree that way, but I don't know what else to do. I am happy doing schoolwork, but I am NOT happy when I don't have time for anything else. I have been seized by an uncontrollable urge to do some painting and of course, there's no time. So I am plotting a painting and I've even bought a few new supplies. During Thanksgiving I am going to paint.

Maybe once Sparkle has moved on to college or whatever it is she plans to do, two classes won't seem like its as much. That's a whole other story. Somehow, over the last few weeks, I have become the Enemy. Everything I do is wrong. I think she would talk to a wall before she would talk to me. It is very frustrating. But I told her this morning as she got out of the car, "Even though I've become the Enemy, I still love you." SLAM, went the door.

I think its just a serious case of Spoiled Brat-itis, myself.

If I haven't been to your blog as much, please bear with me. "Even though I've become a Blog Loser, I still love you!" SLAM!

Sunday, October 15, 2006


Thanks for the AM radio memories!

Thursday, October 12, 2006



I kicked an acorn today
It rolled a very long way
It went very far
It went under my car
And I smashed it as I drove away

I saw a bunny today
In the road as it played
I tried to swerve
and it tore up my nerves
'cause I smashed it as I drove away

I try to be a good girl
But I should warn all the squirrels
Once I get behind the wheel
Being good is not part of the deal
Cause I smash everything as I drive away

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


I hope this shows up okay on the blog!

My apologies to the artist, I had to crop the heck out of this to make it fit. Its funny though.

Expect me to put a picture post together real soon! I just went through my pics and I have a load of stuff I've never used....

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


I woke up this morning and I was still here.......and not a nucleated, bomb-out scrap of ash. I was able to log on to CNN and read the latest about North Korea's underground nuclear bombing testing. And I trembled.

Here is something worth fighting for. A real, unbelievably real, threat to all the world. Yet our troops are depleted and tired; they have been too busy fighting Bush's personal grudge.

I question my decision to have brought a child in the world. Would she be strong enough to withstand the immense stress that a bombing, a real war, the terrors that all of this could entail? Or will our children die slowly, cursing their parents' names for bringing their world to this?

America has been "top dog" for a long, long time now. We are a spoiled, arrogant nation. We are despised by the rest of the world, and for many of them, their only point of reference to what our nation stands for is the face of an idiot.

What happens now? It could happen, you know. Yeah, its Doomsday Thinking. Maybe I should just go browse Ebay or play some online games, and not think? Maybe a trip to Washington DC is in order this weekend? I can chug-a-lug up there in my ghetto-ized car, hope I make it, and stand on the sidewalk in front of the Capitol. Maybe I can hold a sign. Should I stand and be counted or is it useless at this point anyway?

I've never felt so helpless. How are you feeling today?

Monday, October 09, 2006


Here is a rundown of how to get more hits to your blog. I feel qualified to compile this list now that I am now a "seasoned blogger" of two and a half years.

1. Open up a free photo account at Villagephotos.com.
2. Steal pictures that strike your fancy from all over the web and download them to Villagephotos.com. Make sure your account is labeled "public".
3. Put the pictures on your blog. Villagephotos is affliated with Google somehow or other and quite often your images will eventually become THE DEFINITIVE image.
4. Post an Angelina Jolie picture. Googlers in Denmark and the Netherlands will eat that right up. En masse.
5. Post a Captain Jack Sparrow picture. Apparently a totally routine picture of Captain Jack Sparrow that I posted awhile back (that you can find any-freaking-where) is THE DEFINITIVE Captain Jack Sparrow image in foreign editions of Google. I get an explosion of hits off that image....it is the damnedest thing I've ever seen.
6. Try to find a not-often-used picture of Layne Staley and post that. I still get an unbelievable load of hits off of that one, though it has dropped to page 2 of Google images lately.
7. Draw your very own image of Bad Luck Schleprock. Obviously there was world-wide need for a Bad Luck Schleprock image on Google Images. GO CHECK IT OUT!
8. Post about sex. You don't even have to really post about sex. Just kind of plant trigger words like "Johnny Depp wasn't wearing pantaloons and stockings like I thought he would in 'The Libertine'"......you wouldn't believe the hits that roll in for "stockings" and even the occasional "pantaloons". Try some edgy phrases like "hot booty" or "erectile sensation" and see what happens.
9. Post about hair curlers. I posted about my hair curler set 2 years ago and I still get hits for "hair curler fetish". Who knew this was even something that people thought about?
10. Change your name to Brenda Love and put it on your blog. You will get loads of hits for a Brenda Love who wrote "The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices". That wasn't me, okay? You will also get a load of hits from people looking for information about a television personality named Brenda Song.
11. Go to Perezhilton.com and post in the comments section and defend Lindsay Lohan's spoiled Hollywood brat behavior. I was just kidding, people! I DO NOT CONDONE LINDSAY LOHAN'S BEHAVIOR IN REAL LIFE!!!! Its amazing how many people wanted to find out what a freak that thinks Lindsay Lohan is just "misunderstood" could possibly have a blog about. I'm not making any promises, but this "misunderstood" strategy could possibly work with other brats like Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Tara Reid and Kate Moss also.
12. Post a picture of an Emo boy, or just discuss something Emo. That's a very popular subject nowadays!

Try some of these things and they are bound to work. As I have been complaining for months now, I don't have time to post many pictures any more and things aren't looking much better for the immediate future....but I am going back to posting pics soon. It is my only claim to fame!

Saturday, October 07, 2006



The first part of the week I had PMS, the second part of the week was the real deal. That's bad enough in itself. Then the second part was homework, homework galore! Hours and hours and hours of homework. I got the famous essay ready for Professorial consumption and turned it in on Wednesday, so I'll let you know how it goes. I turned it in just in time to get directions for the NEXT writing assignment, so no time to rest and/or gloat.

Then Sparkle decides she isn't going to school anymore because she is having a hard time with physics. After much hootin' and hollerin', I finally get her in school and working with the guidance counselor. I think all of that is going to work out okay but it was stressing me out while it was going on. Thank heavens for the guidance counselors!!!

Then my boss got all bitchy. Then I had some problems dealing with my ex-husband. More homework. Then some housework, can't forget the housework, I'd rather just ignore it. Then new neighbors moved across the street....I knew I should go over and welcome them to the neighborhood but I decided screw 'em for now.

On Friday morning while driving to work, I hit a bunny. A BUNNY. I had to totally re-do my mascara and take out my contacts and re-solutionize them from all the crying. I couldn't hit a possum. I had to hit a freaking BUNNY.

But then on Friday I received everything I need to work from home! YAY! But I can only work from home one day a week for now. WTH? My boss is having some serious "cutting the cord" problems. Nothing like having the employees working from home to take the focus completely off the boss, I guess.

On Tuesday I got suspicious when my Avon order hadn't arrived, so I logged into my account to check it out and GUESS WHAT? I ordered the wrong campaign, so its not coming till 2 more weeks. Couldn't get it worked out with customer service, so I just said screw that too. I emailed my customers, told them what a waste of Avon Lady I am, and begged humble forgiveness. They all took pity on me and were nice to me and not one of them cancelled an order. I was still totally stressed about it though.

Then on Friday I stopped at the CVS to stock up on chocolate and tampons. When I got out to the car, I dropped my cell phone and it went ALL THE WAY under the car, to the middle of under the car, right where you can't reach it without hitting the ground. And I hit the ground all right. I was cussing, really wicked, mean, disgusting words, really loud. I didn't care what anyone thought. And you know what, I still don't care.

The strange news is, my blog stats hit all time highs last week. It seems like the less I post, the more hits I get. I get the message!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


You guys are the best! Thanks to all of your help and suggestions, I am feeling more confident than ever. It has been a LONG time since I have written an essay.....well, one that was going to be graded anyway, so you guys have been like a crutch to me. I write the FINAL DRAFT tonight! Now, I leave you with a short TOO MUCH INFORMATION blog entry that I wrote last week actually, but it was such a moving experience, I still thought I would share:

I should have known better.

A lady at work came up to me and said "Look what I got!" and opened a bag. I looked down in there and it was crammed with packages of Breath Savers. I was like "Da-yum girl! Where'd you get all those?" and she just smiled really big and acted like she was flicking ash off of an imaginary cigar, which I took as a cue to not ask. So I took a pack. She was like "Oh no, girlfriend, GET YOU SOME!" so I dug in and ended up with 6 packs. A gracious "thank you" and she moved on to spread the cheer further.

I had never eaten a Breath Savers, so I popped it into my mouth and was blown away by its cool, refreshing wintergreen flavor. My mouth felt fresh. It kind of reminded me of how I would like my mouth to taste while I was sticking my tongue down Johnny Depp's throat on a snow-covered mountaintop. Mmmmm, good stuff. I ate another one. And another. After I finished my coffee, I had two to take away the taste of coffee breath. Life was good.

Then around 2:00 it started. A low rumble, like a thunderstorm approaching in the distance. Then I began to fill up with gas like a hot air balloon. My god, was I getting sick? And then it hit me.....Oh god no. I grabbed those Breath Savers mints, scanned the ingredients....and there it was. Aspartame, my mortal enemy. Aspartame and I are old acquaintances.....and due to my negligence, ol' Aspartame was coming 'round to visit a spell, and boy he had really missed me! I went ahead and left work at 3:00....I knew what all was coming. It is now 10:30 p.m. and things are starting to get a little bit better.

I would like to let you know as a PSA that if you believe you have IBS - irritable bowel syndrome, pay special attention to if you have been eating any mints or chewing gums that contain Aspartame. It may be what is causing your symptoms. It is a dangerous toxin and IMHO needs to outlawed. I'd rather eat sugar and just put limit on how much of that I eat. At least sugar is natural. NO MORE CHEMICAL SWEETNERS!

Monday, October 02, 2006




Because America as a country desires personal perfection from its leaders, in many cases the media and/or enemies of a potential candidate can reach too far in profiling a candidate's past, often forging into the absurd. This viewpoint is illustrated in a comedic article by American author Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), "Running for President". Twain's stories often depicted the ironies of American life in a witty and humorous way while also forcing the reader to rethink the validity of long-held belief systems. "Running for President", a six paragraph short article, hilariously illustrates the point of "What the country wants is a candidate who cannot be injured by investigation of his past history" (225).

Twain begins his narrative by stating that he is going to run for President. He theorizes that if a candidate is open from the beginning about his past record, then the "enemies of the party will be unable to rake up anything against him that nobody ever heard of before" (225). Illustrating his long-celebrated sense of humor, Twain lists his own "faults" and "past mistakes", putting his cards on the table so that he can clear up any misunderstandings about his past or character before becoming a candidate. However, his faults and mistakes are so bizarre as to be considered humorous. He gives examples of "treeing a rheumatic grandfather....in the winter of 1850 (225) at gunpoint, running away from the Battle of Gettysburg because "I was scared" (226), and fertilizing his grapevines with the body of a dead aunt. He freely admits that "the great fundamental principle of my life" (226) was to take any kind of money he could get, either paper or coin, and that he was "not a friend of the poor man" (226). In fact, he states that "Cut up and properly canned, (the poor man) might be made useful to fatten the natives of the cannibal islands" (226)!

Of course we assume that Twain's "examples of character" are either fiction or exaggerated for the sake of humor. However, his examples do give us pause when we consider the pains taken in modern times by a new candidate's opposing party or by the press to discover a candidate's "hidden past". Every phase of a candidate's life is thoroughly reviewed in an attempt to find information that could damage his or her reputation and bring about electoral defeat. Apparently this was also true in Twain's time as well.

Naturally, our country should desire complete disclosure if a candidate has had serious and unlawful allegations brought against him/her that breaches public trust. A modern example of appropriate scrutiny of a candidate's record and personal past would be the appointment hearings for Judge Clarence Thomas. Before Judge Thomas' appointment in 1991, one of his former employees, Anita Hill, testified to allegations to sexual harrassment. Another modern example would include the "wrongful death" responsibility rumours that have plagued Senator Ted Kennedy. Ever since a July 1969 car crash in which a female passenger was killed, there have been grave doubts surrounding the extent Kennedy's fault in the accident.

While Judge Thomas was able to overcome accusations against him and still be appointed to his Supreme Court position, it can be argued that distrust ove Kennedy's past has cost him the Presidency of the United States in several elections. A candidate should realize that serious past mistakes are "open season" for thorough investigation and revelation to the public. Because public trust is essential, America as a nation should insist on this type of thorough personal investigation of candidates.

However, there have been times in history when these investigations can border on the ridiculous, and this is what Twain's piece seeks to point out and vilify. Modern examples of candidate investigation that went "just a little too far" involve allegations of sampling marijuana in college (which many consider to be a "rite of passage" in college) or that a candidate did not verify all of the immigration laws before hiring a private nanny. One of the most hurtful and unnecessary investigations of the past have involved exposing a candidate's homosexuality; the implication being that a person's sexual preference would hinder a public figure from making correct and trustworthy executive decisions.

Taken in the context that Twain, back in his own time, is rebelling against basically this same kind of "excessive profiling" that plagues candidates today, his bizarre "past mistakes" and "character flaws" become quite humorous. The farce forces us to realize that we need to take a close look at what characteristics are truly important in candidate selection and what are mistakes that we all could possibly make. We need to realize that some "mistakes" are not mistakes at all but unalterable human traits that we should embrace as normal.

Perhaps one day our society will be able to differentiate between what is a serious mistakes that compromises the public trust and common human conditions that can actually make a candidate wiser and capable of steering our country in positive directions. As Twain points out to us, a candidate's best strategy is to list your past history before even declaring candidacy, so that "if any Congressional committee is disposed to prowl around my biography in the hope of discovering any dark and deadly deed that I have secreted, why - let it prowl"(225).