I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Monday, December 13, 2004
Why Can't We Catch Osama Bin Laden?


I accidentally hit a deer last night, I'll tell you about it tomorrow.

I decided what I was going to write about and then decided to gather a picture or two of Osama Bin Laden. I went to Google and did an Image Search on ol' OBL and got back some hilarious results, more than you could ever dream. So I got kind of hung up looking and laughing for quite awhile. Its more pictures than I could ever host so do yourself a favor and take a little time and hit Google Search for some fun. I did pick up a few of the less pornographic ones though....

If what I read quite awhile back is true, it should be a breeze to catch Osama Bin Laden! The only problem is...I can't remember where I read it so I can back up all my shit-talking. I guessing it was TIME and it was published very soon after 9/11. But I know I read it and in a reputable source, I didn't just pull this one out of the thin air. It was casually mentioned that Osama has kidney failure and receives dialysis. So....why haven't we caught Osama Bin Laden by now? All you gotta do is stake out the Middle Eastern dialysis centers. So what if he's a home dialysis person? All you gotta do is stake out suppliers, he's gotta have his supplies! I would especially be suspicious of large dialysis supplies shipments. Especially shipments that are delivered to underground cave addresses. If he doesn't get one or the other, he dies. If he's not already dead anyway.

Looks like somebody was exposed to too many Mad Magazine fold-ups as a kid. But anyway....the only thing I can come up with is that the kidney failure thing wasn't true. It was only one source I ever saw it in and no one says anything about it now. Because surely, SURELY our government isn't so STUPID that they could have missed the boat on this. Right? RIGHT?

I should have figured this guy would somehow be behind all this. We all know Bert is evil.

I have serious doubts as to whether Osama Bin Laden is even still alive if all this is true. Kidney failure is a serious disease requiring a lot of medical care and a lot of other complications arise. What I think happened is that 9/11 went better than even he dreamed it ever would....and he had to suddenly go into hiding and died soon after due to lack of medical care. Why do I think this? Because I just can't believe Osama would mastermind the 9/11 plot and not have thought of anything beyond that. I don't know. Maybe I'm giving him too much credit for being smart. But the most Al-Qaeda has been able to come up with since is scattered resistance and uprisings...and don't forget the cowardly beheadings. Yeah, I think the main Asshole is dead already. This is all just one lone Southern girl's opinion though, so don't get too bent out of shape over it.

Oh yeah and here's a Christmas cartoon for you too!