I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
I Have a Bad Reputation.....on Ebay


Oh boy....I logged onto Ebay today to just browse around. I opened "My Ebay" and....oh my goodness. Apparently Sparkle and Bitchard got on there about a month or so ago and ordered up a few things for Christmas and forgot to tell me. It was only about 10 bucks worth of little things but it was from several different sellers....boy you should have seen the all the red marks and negative feedback! I'm totally sunk on Ebay under this particular username....I wouldn't sell anything to me either. Then I started wondering, well why didn't I get any emails? Come to find out....we had registered on Ebay under Netscape way back in the day and if you don't use a Netscape screen name for a long time it eventually deletes itself! Lovely. Time to reincarnate and try to rebuild my reputation as someone trustworthy to deal with. And Sparkle doesn't get to find out this username.

I have had a couple of questions about working for Conglomo. No, the name of my company is not really Conglomo. Conglomo (slogan: We Own You!) is a fictional company from the cartoon Rocko's Modern Life.

This is one of the better Nickelodeon cartoons that sadly doesn't come on anymore. They might show one at 6:00 a.m. on a Saturday, when only breast-feeding babies and their stressed out moms are anywhere near a television. This is a shame actually because this is one of my very favorite cartoons. Rocko's next door neighbor, Mr. Big Mouth, is the CEO of Conglomo:

Conglomo is the epitome of everything Big, Mega and Corporate. They push a lot of paper, have a factory belt or two and lots of workers that all look alike. No one seems to be able to define what it is they produce but they seem to do a good job of it! And that's where I got the moniker for my company in real life. Important Trivia: the B-52's sang the theme song!

Several of Sparkle's friends came over last night and one of the boys gets on the computer. No problem. Well, apparently this kid must have downloaded everything Kazaa offers and surfed every porn site ever invented, because when they left and I got on the computer.....it was packed full of Adware and Spyware. But hey, that's no problem because I have the mighty Spy Cleaner Gold! So I started up the Spy Cleaner....but apparently the computer was so infected it took hours to run through the files. I started it running about 9:30 p.m. and when I got up this morning I saw it had finished running about 3:30 a.m. But it still got the job done. If a certain kid reads this, just go ahead and accept the fact that you're going to get The Lecture from me because its going to happen. Promise.

I guess I am ready to blog about hitting the deer. I'm not trying to be a drama queen....but this IS Planet Brenda.... so you already know it wasn't as simple as hitting a deer, mourning and going home.

I hit the deer in front of the retirement home. I was driving along, it was dark and suddenly a deer drops down out of the sky. I never saw it coming, it was seriously like it fell from above. I slammed on brakes, closed my eyes and..........

It sounded hideous. I got stopped, looked back and saw the deer laying in the road. Since I was at the retirement home, there were Rent-A-Cops around so I managed to flag one down.
- (Burt and Liza....I bet this movie majorly sucked. I love how he's using his hand to push her face away....."Get back, Liza! I'm gay!")

So Mr. Rent-A-Cop comes over and the first thing he says to me is "You couldn't have missed the deer"? I was already crying and I just looked at him and knew at that exact moment we weren't going to get along. I wanted so bad to say "oh NO sir, I ENJOY hitting deer!!" but I was too upset and chickenshit. This guy was the biggest jerk ever. While we're waiting for a REAL COP to get there he manages to throw in....."oh too bad....this was one of the friendly ones that comes around and just loved people, its such a shame" and "well, the rutting season is over so this one was probably pregnant." Well, you people already know what an animal-loving tree hugger I am, so he just tore my feelings up and I think he enjoyed doing it. I held my peace but I would have given anything to rage on this guy. His words were so mean and so unnecessary and that's why I haven't been able to write about it for a couple of days.

Must.......remember..........Anger Management......skills........training!!!!!!

The Ghetto Car has a busted headlight and a huge dent but it actually seems to add even more character to the car. I'm getting the headlight fixed because the REAL COP said I should but I could care less about that dent.