I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Monday, October 31, 2005


Its finally here! My most favorite holiday! Its everything a holiday should be about....lots of fun without a crapload of cooking or going broke trying to show people you care about them. Its just good, clean fun....unless you happen to be wearing the Spiderman costume from the other day!

Nevermind that at work I'm in a room with 3 other people.....and all three just happen to believe that Halloween is an evil day and that the people who celebrate it are in need of their souls to be saved. I'm not going to let a trio of stern Puritans ruin my day!

Here is a plate of pumpkin seeds I washed and dried out. I got all of these seeds from just one pumpkin. I know a couple of little hamsters that are going to be very happy! Even they know Halloween means special TREATS!

Tonight I will be handing out treats, lighting some candles and watching whatever scary movie strikes my fancy.

Here are our pumpkins for this year!!!! Including the obligatory ceremonial Tool pumpkin!

This is your last Halloween Pic of The Day until next year!

Sunday, October 30, 2005


Here is a link you the bloggers will enjoy. Its called "How to Start Your Very Own Blog in Fifty One Easy Steps" and I think all of you will relate to at least a little bit of it. I've had this link for quite awhile and just kept forgetting to post it....its been so long now that I can't remember if I found it on my own or if someone sent it to me or what!!! But it is what it is, you can find it Here .

I am starting to feel a bit better. Hopefully I'll be feeling great in time to head right back to work with no time missed. I've held off taking any kind of medicines because I'm still thinking that Tom Cruise is going to release his recipe of cure-all vitamins to the general public any minute now. All of us sickies are patiently waiting, Tom. You need to let us know, its your duty to mankind to save us.

Robert DeNiro as Frankenstein's monster
One good thing about being sick is that I had some time to curl up on the couch and watch some "Monsterfest" today. I watched "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" (1994) for the first time and thought it was very good for a Frankenstein move. I love the Halloween season so much.

Hope sent this cartoon in.

Pretty soon it'll all be over with and then we'll have to watch heart-warming flicks about going to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving and lots of Pilgrim-themed satire. Its just not the same.

Hope sent this one too!

The Halloween Pic of The Day: This one is from Susan, via email. It is bumblebees in costume and scaring each other.....otherwise known as......BOOBEES!

Saturday, October 29, 2005


Well, I found out why I have been so incredibly tired and wiped out. It would appear I have a mild case of the flu. I have some fever, body aches and extreme tiredness, the kind of tiredness that doesn't go very well with eyeliner and mascara. Right now makeup makes me look like I've been on a 3 week bender. Without it, I look like I've only been on a two week bender. I can't get over how tired I am.

It looks like its going to be a long winter. My area went directly from humidity and needing air conditioning to 30 degree nights. There was no in-between whatsoever. Of course, we've been having mild winters for the past decade....but the one year when gas prices rise uncontrollably will be the year that we have a long, cold, hard winter. Its okay though, I'm used to these ironies of life, my whole life has been a huge ironic farce. A laugh a minute.

I saw a bumper sticker this morning that said "I (heart) someone with autism". I think its wonderful to call attention to the plight of those with this condition. However, I can't help but feel that people that have other conditions are getting left out of the loop. I know actual people with actual conditions that deserve their very own bumper stickers!
I (heart) someone with gout.
I (heart) someone with delusions of grandeur.
I (heart) someone with icky toenail fungus.
Equal rights for all.

Here is the Halloween Pic of the Day: This one is from Judy via email. Its a great big bubbly and shiny J. Lo pumpkin butt!

Photoshopped? I'm not sure but I suspect! What do you think?

Friday, October 28, 2005


UGH! I am so tired, you guys. I don't know why today was such a wiper-outer. All I want to do is curl up in bed and read my new Rolling Stone. There better be some good shit in there too. I promise I'll be back in fine form for the weekend. So until then....
Here's the Halloween Pic of the Day: Sent by Jen via email....an extremely interesting Halloween costume. FIRST PRIZE!

Thursday, October 27, 2005


When I was a little kid, one of my favorite books was called "How To Care For Your Monster" by Norman Bridwell, the same dude that did the "Clifford" series. "How To Care For Your Monster" was a take-off on the "how to care for your dog/cat" type books, except the pets were every kind of monster imaginable. This book really fulfilled me....monsters, humor, AND cool little drawings, all in one package. I bet I opened this little paperback a million times.

I enjoyed all of the monsters but I became obsessed with the vampire. This is partly due to the recessive Goth Gene that seems to run in my blood and partly because.....according to the book.....this was actually DO-ABLE!!! It states right there in the book....all you have to do is catch a bat in your cap and voila! You have a pet vampire! And there's bats galore around my house at sunset!

I was totally convinced it could be done. Being a little girl, I didn't have any caps at that time, but that was no problem. I just enlisted the handy Gullible Neighborhood Boy to give me one of his. Of course, I had to explain to him what I was going to do with it. He just stared at me blankly until I handed him The Book. Ohhhhhh.....

Well, he was totally down with it after seeing the book. We met at the front of my house after we'd had supper. It was the end of a summer day and the sun was going down. Gullible Boy showed up with his pee-wee baseball cap. We tossed it into the air a few times and it tossed well, the brim gave it enough leverage to get it pretty high into the air. In fact, we almost lost sight of our bat-catching goal because we were having so much fun seeing who could toss the hat higher.

Until I spotted a bat. I already knew we'd see one, we see them every single night around here. But now we knew the secret to actually catching one. All you had to do was toss your cap into the air and the bat would fly right in....the book said so!!! I was a child possessed...I wanted my very own vampire.

The bat was flying around in that crazy unpredictable flight like bats usually do. Gullible Boy chickened out on tossing the cap up. I wasn't missing my chance, baby, I snatched that hat out of his hands and tossed it......and it was like something out of a movie or something....like one of those basketball movies where the winning shot swishes through the net in slo-mo. The cap goes up in the air....it was a perfect shot....perfect. And I swear to you on everything I have to swear:

That bat flew right into the cap.

Just like the book said it would. The bat flew straight into it and next thing you know, the cap is headed back to the ground towards us like a shooting star, with the bat still in it! I never had any doubts that anything BUT this would happen.....yet when it did, I had a major freakout and so did Gullible Boy. You've never seen two children run so fast! We never saw the cap hit the ground. We didn't try to go back and get it, either, until the next day. I guess the bat hit the ground and got himself back up and on his way.

But I betcha anything I would have had myself a real life vampire pet if I'd just been a little more courageous.

Your Halloween Pic of the Day: Pet Monsters!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I have a heroic ex-father-in-law who has swooped down from the skies to rescue Sparkle and I many, many times. Once Sparkle and I got locked out of the car and not only was he there for us, but he also brought along his highly-illegal-to-possess-in-this-state jimmying tool and got the door open so we didn't have to pay someone to do it. Readers who've been around awhile might remember how he flew over to the house last winter when one of my pipes burst and water was spewing everywhere. Not only was he able to patch the problem temporarily, but he PAID for a plumber to come and make it all right again. And I could name countless other examples for you. He's unbelievable.


Well, my poor Father-In-Law was in a terrible accident yesterday. He was up on a ladder trying to retrieve a branch which had blown onto his shed....and somehow the ladder became dislodged and he fell.

He fell 22 feet. Go take a look at the top of your nearest utility pole....that's how far he fell. A neighbor saw it happen and called an ambulance. He was taken to Duke University, one of the top hospitals in the nation. If you have a problem and Duke can't fix it, you better just go ahead and accept that you're probably going to die. My Father-In-Law was poked, prodded and examined by a huge array of doctors, nurses, technicians, interns, medical students, and their various hangers-on.

And the incredible thing is.....HE'S OKAY! It defies most accepted logic, especially considering that he's 67 years old. He's banged up, he's bruised all over and he's on serious painkillers, but he's okay!

And yet, it all makes perfect sense. Nothing can touch him. He's stronger than a locomotive. He's death-defying. He's FATHER-IN-LAW MAN!!!!! *echo*

The Halloween Pic of The Day: Rob Zombie and some of his closest pals.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


I had this guy to ask me out last week. However, during the "getting to know you" phase before he asked me out....he let a few little obviouses drop. A couple of examples..."so, you make pretty good money?" and "do you have a house?" Not "so do you have lots of opportunities to advance in your job?" or "do you have a house or do you rent?" In other words, the same damned question but phrased in such a way to try to make the girl think you might really CARE about her situation, and not just giving the impression that you are trying to find out if this is a good way to improve YOUR situation. I guess you had to be there, but the Bullshit Radar Detector was sounding off clear and true.

It didn't help his case any that he is very young. R-i-i-i-g-h-t. (Although my friends say I'm selling myself short....I don't think so!) Actually it doesn't really matter how old he is. If I'd had anything in common with him, I probably would have said yes.

Bottom line, if someone asks you out, your heart should give a leap and your spirits should soar. You should actually feel a little giddy from being happy. And if being asked out is a total surprise, the first thing you should feel is at least INTRIGUE. If all you feel is dread, then something is not right and you shouldn't go out with them. Guys don't usually ask you out because they want to be "just friends", so unless they spell out that they want to be "just friends".....you shouldn't waste their time if you're not interested.

Which I wasn't. I said no and I was real nice about it.

Now when I see him....he will not even LOOK at me, much less SPEAK to me, which only reinforces to me that I made the right decision.

I'm holding out for a decent guy this time. I might be holding out forever but I'm holding out. No! More! Bad! Relationships!

HALLOWEEN STUFF: Here is a great site where you can carve your very own virtual pumpkin . This most excellent site comes courtesy of Hope, via email. Have fun!

And here is the Halloween Pic of the Day: A couple of Groovy Ghoulies living it up at a Halloween Love-In: Please note the ethereal ectoplasm emanating from his alcoholic beverage.

Monday, October 24, 2005


Sunday night....again. *sigh*

Here's something I'm looking forward to: Robert Downey Jr. has a new movie coming out called Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang which also stars Val Kilmer. It has already had a limited city release, which means all the big cities and none of the little crappy ones like mine. The last date I've heard is "early November" for a release date for everyone else.

Robert Downey Jr. is a very talented actor who got caught up in whirlwind of drug abuse. Everyone was convinced he was going to die....and things got very surreal there for awhile. He actually went to jail for about 6 months at one point. But he's slowly coming back and I'm really glad for him, because he is a great actor. I have been hearing nothing but good things about Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. I hope this is the end of his problems.

Here is the Halloween Pic of The Day: A Scary Graveyard.

Sunday, October 23, 2005


I am beyond grouchy with my child. She certainly enjoys doing things to piss me off and embarrass me. She reminds me of Kurt Cobain the way she enjoys pissing people off. I would have never pushed my parents to such limits....or did I? I wish my mom was still around...I'd definitely conduct a Planet Brenda interview to ask.

One thing is for sure, I question how well I've done as a mother. I love her very much, so its not a matter of lack of love. I certainly think I should blow my top and get violent more, or something. I'm all about hugs and talking it out. She's just outrageous, yet she has a superb grade point average and totally kicks ass, so I don't know what to do. It might be too late to do anything, ya know? I do accept full responsibility, however.

The Halloween Pic of The Day: An antique card:

Saturday, October 22, 2005


We planned a getaway on a winter day a long time ago....just because we wanted to be together again.

Everyone else was headed out to work as usual...but not us. It was so strange to watch the morning commute and to feel so disconnected from the frenzy. We went out to a greasy spoon and lounged in a booth....eggs, coffee, conversation, a Timothy Leary tribute, a ton of laughs.

We ran away to the woods because we couldn't stand the real world any longer. We played on the swinging bridge over the river. There was no one there to hear my shrieks and your laughter boom out as the bridge started swinging out of control. We stared at the fish - and our own reflections - in the water below.

Finally we headed up the mountain. Funny how it was such a cinch to get up there on that particular day. The trail was beautiful....every stick, every rock. Every leaf seemed magnified and they crunched under our feet as we climbed....getting higher. Everything was brown and all of it was dead, the winter forest at rest.

But oh! Finally we made it to the top - the clearing just ahead.....and it was like stepping into Oz from Kansas. The sky was a brilliant, shrill blue. We were truly the kings of the world...the world bowed down below us in worship...offering up wheat-colored meadow grass and winter-green pasture to us as gifts. The river bottom twinkled in the sunshine like diamonds winking at me. The cold air burned my lungs and the colors painted my eyes estatic. I twirled round and round, arms outstretched, my head thrown back to embrace heaven above me. You were laughing at me when I kept singing a Dinosaur Jr. song, but you sang right along with your deep voice. You were radiant; your whole self encased in the glare of the sun, golden.

I got so dizzy I lost my footing and fell in the grass and sand. It was as soft as falling into a pool and I actually slid uncontrollably a good distance down the hill...laughing and laughing. And before I could get my bearings about me, you were right there reaching out for me....our eyes met and our fingers touched.....our arms threaded each around the other hungrily, and when I buried my face in your flannel shirt and breathed in the richness that was you, I wished so hard for this to be my home always.

Since we were children, I have always loved you. This I cannot change.

There will always be something there
As long as one of us goes on living.

The Halloween Pic of The Day: An exceptionally scary witch.

Friday, October 21, 2005


I wrote a heavy metal song!

[intro: super-mic'ed double bass drum beat, pulse guitar ]
You show up early every day
Defining your priorities
You tried to get a dude fired
You don't like minorities!
You did it cuz he's black!
You a Cra-yay-zee Woman!

At lunchtime every single day
It's vienna sausages, onion rings
A bowl of lima fucking beans
or KFC buffalo chicken wings!
That menu is totally whack!
You a Cra-yay-zee Woman!

Yes, Crazy Woman
All the stories I hear are truuuuuue
But mostly I'm just happy 'cause
I no longer have to sit beside yooooooooou.........YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! [Rob Halford scream]

You're the best of this bunch
Or so you say
Yet you take six 15 minute
Smoke breaks a day!
You must be smokin' crack!
You a Cra-yay-zee Woman!
I said a Cra-yay-zee Woman!

[Earth-shattering guitar solo; fade]

The Halloween Pic of The Day: This puking pumpkin arrives via email from
Markus :

I personally think the pumpkin might be trying to subtlely critique my song!!!!!

Thursday, October 20, 2005


A quick follow-up to my post about Soundgarden last week or whenever it was:

Last night I was on the computer and Sparkle was watching some Fuse TV. They were having a show called "Guitar Gods" and they were counting down some great guitar players and showing a video from each. They started talking about Soundgarden and I decided it was worth it to just drop everything and catch a Soundgarden video for a few . I go into the living room and catch the show's host spieling the obvious....that "everyone gives all the credit to Chris Cornell (singer) for the band's success, but Kim Thayil was most important to the band's sound, blah blah blah..."

It kind of got me thinking....what about all these people who play bass and drums? They don't get any respect at all. No one knows their names and they always have to stand at the back of the band photos. Yet, if you have a band and your bassist and your drummer sucks, then you are going to suck as a whole. Right?

Then I stop and think, well....Meg White sucks at drumming and Jack White somehow manages to pull it off and sell a few records. Then there was that bass player from the Cars that played that same frickin' bass line on like......every song they ever did! And they were huge sellers.

Hmmmm....I know I prefer my music with decent bass and drumming...and if its not there then the song isn't really happening for me. So I'm going out on a limb here and say that drummers and bassists are very important to shaping a band's sound too and deserve some freaking credit. And a chance to stand at the front of the band photos even if some of them are uglier than an unwanted red-headed stepchild.

So since I've been declaring national holidays lately, I hereby declare this day to be Appreciate Those Drummers and Bassists Day. You guys are loved!!!!!

Here's the Halloween Pic of The Day: We've already had a cool cat, now its time for a cool dog! Witchy! This one comes from Judy via email.

Thank you Judy!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


I hereby declare a blogging holiday. Because I don't have a thing to say. But here's your Halloween Pic of the Day: Ghosties!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


Ryan and his band elijahfell have finally made their EP a reality. And its really, really good. You can hear it at their website (click "elijahfell" above) and you can order it at cdbaby . Please go give it a listen and once you do, I know you are going to want to add it to your collection. And while you're at it, go by Ryan's blog and let him know how kickass his guitar playing is. This band is getting ready to go places and it couldn't be happening to a better person.

The Halloween Pic of the Day: the coolest Halloween cat ever!

Sunday, October 16, 2005



When I am flipping through my list of favorite blogs, my heart soars a little higher when a page comes up and there's a pet story. A lot of my regular blog stops include animal owners and lovers, such as Jenn, Greg, Judy, Thumper, and Stew. I love reading about their pets and after awhile I start to feel like I know these animals, especially when pictures are included.

Here is Riggs, quite possibly one of Internet's most famous dogs ever. Alongside him is his partner-in-crime, Tripod, a.k.a Ampukittie, the world-famous three legged cat.

Riggs is special. Not only is he a cutie, but he's huge and he's always grinning at you in his pictures. Riggs single-handedly keeps the hot dog stock market viable and healthy. Riggs belongs to
Stew . Well, Stew has informed us in his blog that Riggs has been diagnosed with Lymphosarcoma.

Now I've been following Riggs' adventures for quite awhile now, and I've really been DOWN about this. Its been on my mind all day and I really don't think I could be any more concerned than if it were one of my own pets.

So, I want to declare today, SUNDAY OCTOBER 16 as official RIGGS DAY. If you will, please take a moment and send out some positive energy, a prayer, whatever you have inside to send to this special doggy-woggy. If you have a candle handy, light it in Riggs' honor and let it burn for today. Call me a new-age tosser, but I know first hand what a group of people sending out positive energy can accomplish.

So please, spare a happy thought for Riggs today.

Here's the Halloween Pic of The Day: another fantastic find by Hope, who is fast becoming an internet picture goddess. This might be the coolest little store in the whole wide world: