I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Why Justin Timberlake Sucks


CNN is reporting that Michael Jackson hosted over 200 kids at his Neverland Ranch for a Christmas celebration. Let's see here....that's 400 individual parents who agreed to let their child within 100 yards of Michael Jackson. Sheesh. And Michael Jackson is obviously not the most brilliant porch light on the block. Why won't his lawyers ADVISE him? He needs to stay away from kids. Far, far away from kids. I don't care how good his intentions are....he needs to stay away from kids until he settles his pending litigation. It's just common sense.

I'd be worried about my kid if he even wanted a Michael Jackson doll!

Poor Michael. Its like the whole world totally misunderstands him. *rolls eyes* One image I can't get out of my head....Ted Casablanca reported in his column a few months back that one of the items seized out of Michael's ranch was an adult bunny costume with the genital area cut out. I'm never going to forgive you for telling me this, Ted Casablanca!

Michael Jackson almost made a comeback. Almost. A little while back he appeared with that ass-kisser, Justin Timberlake, on some awards show....and there was a little buzz generated. He was back! Justin was totally trying to be Michael for a little while too. Then it all died a horrible death when Michael was accused again of molesting children. You don't see Justin trying to act like Michael Jackson anymore.

- "Hey baby, want a lube job?"

Actually, you just don't see Justin much anymore, anyway. That's because HIS advisers have advised him to stay out of the spotlight until he can heal his increasingly bad reputation. Imitating Michael Jackson was just one of many extremely bad business decisions this guy has made. The guy is a lout. Just look at what he's all about....

He grabs Kylie Minogues' ass. They are performing and he just grabs the girl's ass like she's his Ho or something. I don't think this was a planned thing. I think she was really kind of mad about it and I would have been, too. And then he had the nerve to say he was "representin' for all the guys" when he grabbed her ass.
- Puh-leeze.

Then came the infamous Janet Jackson boob incident. Now this was definitely a planned thing, as evidenced by his (and her) extremely bad acting after it happened. "Oh dear me, I exposed her boob!" But that wasn't the bad part. The bad part is that after it happened, Justin just chalked it all up to a wardrobe malfunction, distanced himself from the incident and left Ms. Jackson to defend herself against the world. Yes, he did. Homeboy was worried about his career and ONLY his career. A real man would have stood by Janet Jackson through the whole fallout.

One more transgression and then I'm done.....

You can say what you want about Britney Spears and she probably deserves all of it. But Justin goes on NATIONAL TELEVISION and lets the entire world know he had sex with Britney and that was just plain wrong. Sure, we all knew it was probably going on.....and maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned in this regard.....but a true gentleman never kisses and tells! Obviously she didn't want it told and he should have respected that. That was just an out-and-out betrayal of trust and if I were a young girl I sure wouldn't sleep with his locker-room gossiping ass.

He's a total jerk.

Here's your Christmas Cartoon of The Day....