I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, September 30, 2005


Do you guys remember me going off about a band called Black Taj awhile back? Of course you do. That band that features Mr. Brenda-sent-him-an-email-and-he-actually-answered-and-was-real-damn-nice-about-it Dave Brylawski? And also features Steve Popson who was also in Polvo back in the day with Mr. Brylawski?


Their new shit is almost ready to rise like muffins in the oven and I'm totally stoked. I've been waiting a long time! Check out the spiffy logo above....I like it. And here's an mp3 you can get right now.....head on over to Amish Records and listen to "Clover". Its straight up rock and roll....and I like that. Of course, I'm such a hopeless fan that they could probably release an album of farting noises and I'd be pre-ordering.

Here's Dave, Steve and Ash Bowie back when they were Polvo. I really miss this band.

Here's another link to Black Taj's song "Woke Up Tired" that I posted awhile back too: http://www.wxyc.org/bandwidth/downloads/bandwidth/Bandwidth-Celebrating_10-Years_of_Internet_Radio_on_WXYC-Chapel_Hill/10%20-%20Black%20Taj%20-%20Woke%20Up%20Tired.mp3

I notice on the Amish site it states that Ash Bowie did some of the sound work. I wish he would put some of his own music out! This guy keeps the ultimate low profile. WE MISS YOU MAN!

Possible Ash Bowie sighting at the rock he's rumored to be hiding under.

Thursday, September 29, 2005


Uh, was I all snotty-nosed the other day about lack-of-lovelife? Just when I get that way, something always happens to make me realize....Jesus H. Christ, I have it so good!

Back in the day, Blab (my ex-boyfriend) registered his Blockbuster Movie place membership under my address....so when he's late turning his stuff in, I receive the reminder card. I got one of those cards today and guess what he's been renting? Stacks of Playstation 2 games. And a Sandra Bullock movie (Miss Congeniality 2). Over $50.00 in late fees. Yep, I'm not missing a thing, obviously.

Idiot Box City.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


Hey! Look at this gay picture of Rush I happened to stumble across:

I loved this band in high school and I THOUGHT I knew everything about them....but the gay/glam period of their history seems to have escaped my attention. Or maybe this was just a special night for them.

And speaking of gay.......

A band that I loved then, I love now, and will always love no matter what anybody says, does, I DON'T CARE. You'll never convince me that they deserve anything but my undying love and adoration:

JUDAS PRIEST! Now and forever! WOOT!

Now here's a band that I really hated back in the day. Despised, in fact. They were such a machine, so corporate, so pushed down our throats on the radio 24/7 that I rebelled in a huge way. Now that plenty of time has passed and we're able to push the "on" button on our radios without hearing them constantly, I actually like them much better and can even appreciate that they had some [*gasp*] talent!

Journey. When Fluffy Music Attacks.

And finally, I band I hated then, I hate them now, I'm never going to love them or even like them or even pretend to like them:

They were called Asia. The record company turned them loose on us and told us they were awesome. But in truth they were so terrible that......well, let's just say I still have nightmares of being at parties and one of the "cool kids" putting this on to play.........*screams*

And the photograph itself speaks volumes. Does a band really need a two-story stage? Does anybody really need that many keyboards? Can't he find anything better to stack them on than a Maytag Freezer that probably has a body crammed in it? And what's up with the TV monitor? Did we really used to be impressed by this sort of thing? I'm happy to tell you....I sure wasn't! Plus the music was beyond terrible.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Michael K is DA BOMB!


Michael K., from the D-Listed Hollywood gossip site, gave me my very own Pete Doherty wreck thread! Talk about getting totally brightened during the middle of an incredibly dull work day!


Go leave a comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 26, 2005


GREETINGS!!! Are you here visiting my blog because you are coming from Google Images and you are looking for pictures of SLIPKNOT? That's what I thought! I have no idea why I am getting dozens of hits daily for pictures of Slipknot. Sorry, but there are NO SLIPKNOT IMAGES on my blog. Everybody who's anybody knows that you should head over to Greg's blog for your Slipknot needs. He's the number one resource for all things Slipknot....coast to coast.

Another thing I've noticed lately is that whenever I visit other people's blogs, I have to type in Jewish words like "bfrmitzvsh" before I can post. The bloggers have done this because they were getting spammed and somehow, typing in Jewish words wards away the evil that is spam. Its probably stupid to say it out loud....but nobody's been spamming my blog, even once! I think the spammers realize they wouldn't be getting any quality business from the comments section of THIS particular blog.....and that's kind of satisfying. I love you guys. Even you lost Slipknot picture-seeking souls.

Maybe the spammers are just scared of me. I do have a weapon:

not my original idea. You can thank the Stone Temple Pilots for Evil Be Gone.

And finally, here's something that's about to worry me to death:

Hamsty Boy's wheel. As you can see, he's a monster (check out that butt!) and he needs a big wheel. As you can also see, there's a very small window of opportunity between the wall of the cage and that stupid ledge that he never pays attention to anyway. I always position the wheel perfectly, but its never too long and you start hearing: squeeeeek! THUMP! squeeeeeek! THUMP! You can see where the actual paint from the wheel has left its mark on the ledge. Its enough to drive an already insane woman crazy. Gotta get rid of that ledge somehow without leaving sharp ass wire behind that could hurt Hamsty Boy. All suggestions welcome.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


When the truth is found
To be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love?

I was married for a long time but that shit ended when it could have very easily worked out....but it involved *gasp* actual work....and an unmanly display of emotions! But whatever. (How's that for putting a marriage in a nutshell?)

Then I got involved with Blab for 6 long years. 6 years of him talking me slam to death and one Lynyrd Skynyrd tour after another (long-time readers know what I'm talking about). He's the kind of person that if there's nothing wrong, he's going to MAKE something be wrong. 6 years = 1 year of happiness and 5 years of me backing up further and further.....this was the only relationship I'd ever been in that went backwards! But I take full responsibility for all of that. I was the wrong party in this case. But whatever.

Then I went on a couple of dates that went nowhere....but the last one was an epic disaster. He seemed so cool and I was really expecting good things ....yet once we were out on the date he professed his fondness of crack cocaine and by the way just how much money do I make per year anyway? And that's just scraping the surface of all the crap he said that night. I didn't blog about it because it was unbloggable; it wasn't funny and I couldn't even find a way to make it humorous. I just couldn't wait to get home. How did this guy get past my Bullshit Detection Radar far enough to ever go on a date with him? Obviously some vital sensory function was non-operational on my part and it was dangerous to continue socializing until repairs could be made. Actually it was like something inside me snapped that night. I vowed to take a year off from men, dating, anything of the sort.

In another couple of months it'll be a year since the Date of Doom.....and I've kept my vow.....and I feel like something is very wrong with me. Its like I've died inside or something. I have no interest in meeting anyone and its like I already know there's no one out there for me anyway. I don't even want to try.......and furthermore, I could care less. I don't think this is normal behavior. My heart truly feels like its made of snow.

But whatcha gonna do? It wouldn't be right or fair to be stepping out there and going on dates when I feel like this. Men my age aren't interested in friendship; they want to hook up......and quickly, too. The only thing I know to do is just roll with how I feel. I guess its happening for a reason but I sure do feel kind of funny about it all. I have more anxiety about things not seeming right than I have over thinking that love basically sucks a big fat one. Maybe I should go to the hospital or something? Oh wait, my deductible sucks. Maybe I should wait and Prince Charming will show up on the scene with a heart-melting blowtorch? Riiiiiiight.

Any love (or lack of love) advisors out there?

Saturday, September 24, 2005


In case you haven't noticed already, there are a few little changes to my blog. At the top right you will notice a new section called "Shooting Stars"....which is basically a place where I can put links to news stories that catch my attention. If you scroll down further, you will notice that the "Pete Doherty Trainwreck Desk" is now an actual feature! You can now follow the kooky adventures of Pete down the Trainwreckin' Path of Destruction..... link by link! It's also a Cocaine Kate refuge too, by default.

If you like what you see on my blog and you have an idea for something for YOUR blog, I highly recommend you contact the Interior Decorating Secretary of the Planet, Shara. You can view her fabulous portfolio (including the Planet) at http://shara.us/index.php?/portfolio/. All I do is imagine it in my brain and Shara makes it happen on my blog. Even if you don't have an idea for your blog, Shara can tell you what's hot and what's not. Shoot her an email, NOW! And tell her that crazy woman sent you.

You didn't really think I possessed actual knowledge of making blogs look great, did you? You knew better. I can barely get myself dressed and out the door in the mornings.

Sparkle called me at work today and said that her and Ace wanted to go see the Exorcism of Emily Rose tonight. I'm like....wait.....you're going to an exorcism?????? Turns out its a movie. Whew. I was really out of sorts there for about 30 seconds. Although I may have stumbled onto the ultimate brand new fad! I'd pay money to witness a real live exorcism, wouldn't you?? Although the paying audience would have to be behind sound-proof glass, because you can imagine the heckling that would be going on the peanut gallery. I just want to see some gnashing of teeth and a few head twirls....I will have gotten my money's worth.

Friday, September 23, 2005


There's a little building close to my home that's been around for quite a few years. It used to be a tiny barbeque restaurant a long time ago....and has undergone several incarnations since then, a used car place and a Mexican church are just two. Finally the day came to tear the place down. I happened to ride by one morning when the bulldozer was getting started on the work. "Awww, how about that?"

Well, I'm on the way home that evening...and the work was done! Not only was the place demolished, it was totally gone! And left in its place was nice, smooth.....pavement?????

Now, I'm not the brightest porch light on the block, but even I know that constructed buildings are supposed to possess SOME kind of foundation. Aren't they? Well, this one didn't. There was no way they had time to demolish the building, truck it all away....and THEN lay smooth pavement down that matches the old pavement.......or is it all just an elaborate scheme to fuck with my mind?

Totally bothered, I inquired of some construction-type people just.......wha? Comes to find out...yes, there are plenty of buildings that don't have foundations. They're just sitting there, on the pavement.

My God.

It almost defies words. What if I'm in a building and it just BLOWS AWAY??? Or if there's an earthquake and the building thump, thump, thumps its way out into the middle of the highway? Or a nice flood comes along and I'm headed down the River Ghetto? When the hell did the building inspectors start passing constructions that have NO FOUNDATIONS? Suddenly everything I ever been taught and believed in is now questionable.

I want to avoid these buildings at all cost. The only problem is...there's no way to tell. They all look the same. Although Miss Manners didn't cover this particular subject in her books, I figure it is probably impolite to be outside someone's business, buried in hedges....trying to inspect the building foundation without permission....and probably beyond impolite to ASK about it.

Just another thing on the LONG list to worry and fret about.

Next bad storm...I'm going to go hang on to the mailbox post. I know that bitch is in the ground.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


No update today. Conglomo is very busy conglomorating. We have 5 new temps out on the floor today...and another 16 full-time employees coming out of class! It suddenly occurred to the powers-that-be that HEY! Where are we going to put all these people? *rolls eyes*

So guess who lost her desk. Yep. I had to move to another building this morning. Its pretty cool because I get to move to the swankier building with all the Big-Wigs....but still, getting kicked out of your desk is no fun. Poor Work Fishie is traumatized.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


I want to tell you a story of when I first started blogging. Some of you might remember it, but most of you don't know about it.

It was around July/August of 2004. I had gotten my blog set up and had started blogging everyday. It didn't take long before I got curious about what other bloggers were doing, so I started hitting the "Next Blog" button and checking out the random blogs that came up. That's how I met Ryan , Stew , Texas Gurl and Kyle almost right away.

Well, one day I'm hitting the "Next Blog" button, and here comes the most hideous blog ever. It was a child pornography blog and it was called something like "Loving Naked Kids" or something equally detestable. And the pictures that were on there....I can't even describe to you how awful they were. I put my head on my desk and cried and cried and cried. This blog was the real deal. I knew things like this existed, but knowing it and actually coming across it is two different things.

Finally I got myself together, wrote to Blogger, gave them the website address, and asked them to please kick this piece of shit off the internet immeidately. And what I got back was a very passive "Blogger does not assume responsibility for the content of their blogs" and something along the lines of "we are not in a place to assume that a crime has occurred" or some such crap.

It was just crazy. I didn't know what to do but it seemed like something should be able to happen. So I did the only thing I could think of. I blogged about it. I laid out the whole story and provided a link to the hideous blog....after giving appropriate warnings. And who comes through? Texas Gurl. She shoots off a scathing email to the FBI.......and let me tell you, it was only a few days and the abominable "Naked Kids" was shut down for good, the FBI was investigating, and I got a written apology from Blogger. I was jubilant. It was one of the best days of my life actually...and most definitely my greatest moment on Bloggerland.

Hooray for Texas Gurl!!!!!

But you know what? I still get hits on my blog from where people have typed in "naked kids" on a search engine. If you are one of those people and you are reading this....PLEASE. GET. HELP. NOW. Before I kill you.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


My most-worshipped band, of probably my whole life, was Led Zeppelin:

On the night on September 26, 1980, myself and 5 other unnamed teenagers met with several cans of spray paint....and we spray-painted this symbol:

on a very public road here in town, to commemorate John Bonham, Led Zeppelin's drummer, who had passed away the day before. We were all devastated and in our convoluted teenaged minds, this was the ultimate tribute we could pay to a great drummer. That symbol stayed there for several years before it finally disintegrated.

But here's the catch: that night, in our fevered mourning and rock star worship, we made a pact that we would spray paint the symbols of the OTHER band members, so help us God, when THEY passed away, too. I took an OATH, you guys.

When those band members die, if I am of sound mind and body, I'm gonna do it.

I promised.

In BLOOD, no less.

I just have this image though....in the year 2030, Jimmy Page finally dies at age 80. I, at age 65, go through with my promise, spray paint his symbol on the road and I get arrested. I'm caught red-handed, spray paint can in hand. I'm down at the station house and the cops are like "Why'd you do it, Grannie?" and I'm waving my cane at them ...


Monday, September 19, 2005


Name: Stephanie Burgos
Age: 16
Riverside High School
Died: September 15, 2005
She thought she had missed the bus and was walking the mile and a half to school in the dark, which she had done before. Struck by an oncoming car while crossing the road. A tragic accident.
Friend of Sparkle.

Name: Skylar Wingate
Age: 15
Riverside High School
Died: September 17, 2005
We know that she died in a car accident. No other details available right now.
Friend of Sparkle.

NOT a very happy time in our household right now. It seems that female sophomores that go to Riverside High School are an endangered species at this moment in time. I'm holding on to my girl a little tighter tonight. I just can't even imagine the pain these parents are going through.

Sunday, September 18, 2005


I am getting a boatload of hits to my site from the Pete Doherty/Kate Moss scandal.

From the email:

"Why do you want to be hating on Pete so bad? Can't you see he has ADDICTION and they should be pitied not made fun of?"

Pete looks like a Conehead in this photo.

Dear Reader:

I absolutely DO NOT hate Pete Doherty....at all!! In fact, I am a fan. I love the Libertines and their sloppy guitars and ultra British sound (I like Up The Bracket the best). I get all teary-eyed and snotty-nosed when I hear "What Became of The Likely Lads?" and Pete's not even dead yet!!!

"Oh what became of the Likely Lads?
What became of the dreams we had?
Oh what became of forever?
Oh what became of forever?
We'll never know!"

Maybe the Likely Lads ate too many polish sausages?

However, it is my duty to let you know I downloaded the aptly-titled Babyshambles' single "F*ck Forever" and it is OH. SO. TERRIBLE. Do not waste your money. It should be called "F*ck This Song." I guess Pete's addictions are starting to take a toll creatively.

How I ever got started on the Pete thing at all....I've been reading snippets of gossip about him for well over a year....but I read something about him a few weeks back....and I can't even remember what it was....and something in my brain snapped. Its like I could see the future and I knew "this whole sordid mess is going to end very badly, and very very publicly." Thus the Pete Doherty Trainwreck Desk was born.

I realize Pete's in deep trouble, as is Kate....but there's really not anything I can do about it. Let's face it, Pete and Kate make Kurt and Courtney look like Donny and Marie (go back and read that sentence again....slowly). It's just not in my nature to wring my hands and worry myself slam to death, post after post after post.....I have to look for the humor in a situation or I'll go nuts.

So yeah, I realize my humor is off base a bit but I can't help it, its just how I am. Please know I DO care. Maybe I can dump the Pete Doherty Trainwreck Desk and start up the Pete Doherty Sobriety Rocks! Desk before its too late.

And now I leave you with pictures of Pete from a few days ago...courtesty of PerezHilton.com....this is when he found out about the Daily Mirror Kate Moss story:

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Hmmm...and this is CNN. I told you the story was going to blow up bigger. Although to be honest I thought it was going to be something Pete did rather than Kate. But there's still plenty of time for more trainwreckin'.

This was in the email inbox:

Mattel Inc. Announces the Release Today of Models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the North Carolina Market:

Wake Forest Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Hecht's. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a cookie cutter house. Options include tummy tuck, face-lift, greenhouse and a workaholic Ken.

Cary Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Chrysler minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit. Choose from Mormon or Catholic.

Lumberton Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels, tinted windows and a Meth Lab Ken.

Chapel Hill Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sportscar or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.

Fayetteville Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

Goldsboro Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer-gutted, hollow gold-chain-wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD player equipped with Bon Jovi; rusty old Ford pickup.

Raleigh Barbie: This True Blonde shops exclusively in Saks Fifth Avenue.She drives her Land Rover (sold separately). She has an MBA from Duke but has never worked outside the home. Her child stroller is bigger than your house and her tennis trophies are discreetly hidden behind CEO Ken's golf trophies. She knows enough Spanish to talk with the nanny; Tagalog to speak to the cook; and Chinese, Vietnamese and Korean, to talk with the gardener, house painter, and housekeeper respectively. She is a lifelong member of the Junior League and her home is featured in Architectural Digest. ("Barbie" also goes by the name "Judy"....LOLOLOL!)

They are working on developing a "Durham Barbie", but she keeps getting shot.

Friday, September 16, 2005


There are shockwaves around the world this evening as the totally obvious is revealed: Kate Moss does cocaine! And you thought she maintained her perfect skeletal figure with diet and exercise, didn't you? NOT! And now she's been caught in the act by London's Daily Mirror (Snortin' at the Mirror Daily is more like it). Gawker.com had all the pictures of Kate snortin' it up, but I guess the Daily Mirror's lawyers threatened to sue. WHY OH WHY didn't I copy one of those pics when I had the chance??? Because I was at work, that's why!! I wouldn't want those work people to find out I'm just a shallow Hollywood gossipmonger!

So here's the story....basically Kate was hanging out at a recording studio with our beloved Pete Doherty and some other hoodlums. I guess someone who was hanging around with them managed to get some photos discreetly. I bet Kate is mostly pissed that whoever ratted her out probably snorted up some of her stash, too! And according to the reports, it was apparently QUITE a stash. Everyone always blames Pete for being such a bad influence on Kate.....but I have a sneaky suspicion it may just be the other way around.

And you, dear readers, were not shocked by this news, were you? That's because I've been telling ya'll about the whole sordid affair for weeks now. I always knew I'd find my true calling in life! LOL!

Thursday, September 15, 2005


No entry today due to a certain unnamed child who waited until the last minute to start working on a school project and was a computer hog all night long.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


Today in the Conglomo cafeteria they were offering a chicken and veggie stir fry on brown rice. It smelled great and looked pretty tasty, so I got in line. A Mexican guy was doing the stir frying. I told him what veggies I wanted with my chicken....and then proceeded to check out the nice aquarium that is located nearby while he cooked. I asked the Mexican guy "Who takes care of the aquarium?" and he says "Huh?" and I realized "aquarium" might be stretching his English skills a bit much. So I said "Who takes care of the fish?"

Apparently he decided I was asking him why they didn't offer fish with the stir fry instead of chicken. So he launches into a huge lecture.

"Back in my country, we eat fish always. Here in America, all you people want is chicken. You eat chicken every meal. So much chicken! We serve many soups and not many people eat the soups. But when we serve CHICKEN soup, all you people want to eat that chicken soup. Everywhere I go in America, all the restaurants, its always CHICKEN! Now this dish, they make us serve the chicken, not the fish."

I didn't have the heart to correct him. This guy obviously had a lot of chicken issues he needed to work through....the least I could do was be there for him in his time of need. I did a lot of smiling and nodding....and he seemed much happier afterwards. Good deed for the day? CHECK!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


God. How come I can blog every single day about hamsters, trees, tomatoes, menstrual cycles, Johnny Depp....in other words....every subject under the sun.....and I might get a couple of comments. But let me spew one political comment and a Blog War explodes? I'd hate to think what would happen if I start blogging about religion and taxes.

Left Wingers, Right Wingers.....I say "NO WINGER"

It looks like Hurricane Ophelia will totally miss my section of the Planet, and for that I am grateful. It might not even be a hurricane when it limps ashore....nothing but a big rainstorm. I'll certainly be glad when the hurricane season is over this year.

And from the Pete Doherty Trainwreck Desk:
D-Listed is reporting that Pete and Kate Moss have gotten married. Craziest. thing. ever. I wonder if they smoked crack at the reception? Or if they really got married at all?

Monday, September 12, 2005


Migraine. M-I-G-R-A-I-N-E.

Sunday, September 11, 2005


Please take a moment today to remember the victims from 9/11 and their families.

I had to work today (Saturday) from 6:00 to 12:30. Afterwards I went to the (free) Conglomo gym and worked out. Yes, I have been working out. How else am I going to keep putting in these 12 hour work days during the week? I need energy. After I finished up there I hit K-Mart for a few birthday cards, hand soap and other bathroom favorites. Then I went to Office Depot for some supplies. Then it was off to the pet store for snake food. On the way home I got snagged in the traffic from the Duke game.

There was a whole boatload of Virginia Tech fans out on the highway. All (and I mean ALL) of the Virginia Tech fans have huge SUVs and they are all massively decorated with various VT decorations, flags, stickers, etc. We Duke fans love to show our support too....but DAYUM, those VT fans are really really really into their school spirit! And they were all over the highway....sudden lane changes and braking for no reason....either they were drunk or they couldn't understand the concept of Highway 15-501 - either is possible.

When I got home I found out that Virginia Tech had administered a major fanny spanking to Duke....45 to 0. So yeah, all those VTers out on the highway were probably pissy drunk. Looks like its gonna be another spectacular year for the Duke Football program. *Sigh* Oh well, at least we're used to losing. Thank God for basketball.

Word of warning to Southerners:

I've had be out both early AND late here recently, and I'm here to tell you....the deer are on the move. I'm seeing more and more of them....they are all over the neighborhood at night and they are starting to roam in packs. It looks like rutting season is going to get an early start. It won't be long before they are jumping out in front of your car while you're driving. Keep your eyes open and watch your speed.

And finally, I just HAVE to quote Greg from Hasty Ruminations regarding the firing of the FEMA head honcho:

"Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that they dumped Brown, the incompetent FEMA guy, as the Gulf Coast efforts were entering "a new phase of the recovery operation."

I suppose that would be the phase where actual people receive actual help."

Greg cracks me up. He would be an excellent writer for that Jon Stewart Daily Show on Comedy Central.

Saturday, September 10, 2005


I avoid discussing politics on this blog with the same energy I would use to avoid an encounter with...say....the Black Plague. Its just not my thing and there are loads of other bloggers out there that do that sort of thing much better than I could. My philosophy is that everyone is entitled to their political opinions (and fantasies) ......and I have absolutely no interest in trying to convert you over to my way of thinking. Even though I might think you're a total pompous ass in your politics...hey, its your right to feel the way you do (and God help us if you ever get elected for anything).

Plus I suck at argument and debate, it stresses me out. Me and stress are not a winning combination.

However, this does not mean I don't have any interest in politics. My political leanings are a happy combination of liberal and conservative....going too far in either direction makes me uncomfortable. I'm all for less war and more environment....I have hugged trees before. I don't believe the government should decide for me whether or not I should have a child. In fact, I think the government should stay out of our personal lives as much as possible. Everyone deserves equality and freedom to be who they are. Yet I abhor wasteful and crazy spending practices and too much "bleeding heart" syndrome. In other words....I'm just a middle of the road kind of gal.

But sometimes, a gal's gotta speak out!

Kanye West stated on live TV (while standing next to a hilariously dumbfounded Mike Meyers) that "George Bush does not care about black people." His comments were censored on the West Coast. Now he's being booed at the NFL football stadiums.

It is my belief that Kanye West has made one of the most important statements of this year....of this presidency, even. Because his statement is absolutely true. George Bush doesn't care about black people. He also doesn't care about white people or Hispanics or Asians or gay people or the elderly. The only Americans that Mr. Bush cares about tend to have a whole lot of money. The only thing that George Bush is truly interested in is fighting this Iraqi war that his Daddy got started.

The only reason Bush finally got the ball rolling on New Orleans relief efforts is that the public outcry couldn't be ignored any further without "irrepairable damage" to his reputation. He literally let the New Orleans survivors stew in their own juices without food or water for 4 to 5 days. Yes, I realize FEMA and others were unorganized and unprepared, but when the President's raising hell, you just grab bottled water and go. This wasn't happening. I presume part of the delay was Bush's loathing of diverting his precious war budget money to rescuing a section of his country that is a majority poor....and yes.....black. Its absolutely repulsive. I have never been so scornful and disrespectful of an American president in my lifetime.

And don't even start with me about why "these people didn't evacuate when they had the chance." Gee, I wonder why those nursing home people didn't get out? Why didn't those living in poverty simply pack up the Jaguar and head out of there? Why didn't those fixed income folks simply go rent a $50.00 a night motel? Simply put, you don't want to go down that conversational route with me. DON'T BE STUPID.

Okay, I need to wrap this up, I need to go to bed. Bottom line, if you're booing Kanye West, you really need to take a few moments, look deep inside and ask yourself some hard questions. And that is all.

Friday, September 09, 2005


Shout out to Jen at Brainwashed at Birth: I see your blog is gone. Please let me know if you decide to start up a new blog, I was just gettin' to know ya!

Shout out to Christine at Blog Bucket: Girlfriend, I am so, so worried. Where ARE you? Its getting simply Viking Kingish. You're missed.

Shout out to Mac at Life In The 21st Century: Mac ran into a spot o' bad luck and she hasn't been around since. I'm worried for her.

Shout out to DM at Confessions of a Dangerous Mind: I am missing your wit and wisdoms. Please check in soon!!

Just some of the people that make the internet interesting. And YOU make it interesting too.

I've been on a new project at work. At first I felt like a dismal failure....but I decided I was going to dig in and persevere even if it killed me. I had a roaring breakthrough today...the rusted hinges of my brain finally swung open and understanding flooded in like waves. I think I can do this. And possibly even excel. And get my brain oiled simultaneously.

One of the project managers told me today she has been very impressed with my tenacity...because this project IS unbelievably tedious....and I'm pretty sure that was the exact words she used. I LOVE COMPLIMENTS! I'm sure I was beaming like a kid who got a gold star for completed homework. Now....show me the money!!!

Conglomo has also announced a possible plan to put together a team of employees to head down to New Orleans for a short while to help rebuild. This would come later on, of course. I would need to find out what they have in mind and what the details of the plan would be.....but I already know I want to do it if there's any way I can. I think feeling like I was actually doing something to help would fill up something inside me that's been empty ever since all this hurricane crap happened.

Ok, gotta go to bed. Need to read. Need to sleep!

Thursday, September 08, 2005


I have this problem. You already know about quite a few of my problems, but here's a new one for you:

I have this strange belief that you should hang on to trinkets from phases of your life. If your child makes you a necklace of beads and macaroni, you should keep it. If you got to a killer show, you should keep your ticket stub. And when you run out of space to keep these things, you should utilize your wall space. That's what God made walls for, so we could hang everything we don't have room for.

I love to buy magazines, and when I see pictures I like....I cut them out and save them. And they eventually end up...you guessed it...on the wall. As a result, one wall of my bedroom is one big out-of-control collage. And now I'm working on a second


Out-of-control wall collage? What out-of-control wall collage?

I love my wall. I can lay in bed and stare at my wall for hours. I think about happy times, sad times, songs I like, concerts I went to, how old and decrepit I am now, I just think about everything. And its like, I'm middle aged now.....when is the overwhelming desire to have coordinated interior decorating going to kick in? I'm lacking a serious Martha Stewart chromosone...and I'm also lacking the chromosone that makes you care if you have the Martha Stewart chromosone or not.

If it doesn't make me happy anymore, I'll take it down. But what if it never stops making me happy?

For fun: See how many you can spot: Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Autolux, Josh Homme (several times), Troy Van Leeuwen (several times), Jack White, Kevin Shields, Dave Navarro, Eddie Vedder, Sebadoh, Helium, Ash Bowie, Polvo, Failure, HIM, Mark Lanegan, Adam Jones, Brian Jones, Led Zeppelin, Jeff Tweedy, Paz Lenchantin ( she's there, look closer), Bam Margera, Lush, Jeff Buckley, Burning Brides, Nine Inch Nails, Jimi Hendrix, Ken Andrews, the Mars Volta, Johnny Depp, Butch Walker, the Cops from Reno 911, Rik Emmett, Ian Curtis of Joy Division, a random hawk, and Conrad Keeley from Trail of Dead.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Hi, today I'm here to discuss a concept called "Bachelor Refrigerator". I don't care how old you are, what sex you are, what your marital status is, or how many years you have been keeping house, you have all experienced the Bachelor Refrigerator phenomenon.

I'm not talking about THIS particular brand of Bachelor Refrigerator Phenomena, known as Expressing Your Individuality via the Refrigerator:

Nor am I referring to THIS particular brand of Bachelor Refrigerator phenomena, known as Pure and Acute Bachelor Refrigerator Phenomena:

No. I am referring to THIS particular brand of Bachelor Refrigerator phenomena, known as Abuse of Leftovers:

An unnamed young man generously demonstrates the Phenomena, which has reached a critical point in this case.

Face it, we're all guilty of leaving leftovers in the fridge.....sometimes for days, weeks, months....even years!!! We've all experienced the horror of discovering some forgotten leftovers and having to delve into the container to find out what it is....or was. And once you open it, you find its all gray and fuzzy, with little prairie grasses sprouting out of it.

We've all had to deal with the smell, the funk, the guilt of "WHY GOD? WHY DID I LET THIS HAPPEN?"

So today, as you go about your daily duties, take a few moments and say a prayer of thanks to the inventor of the Bachelor Refrigerator Antidote:

Mr. Disposable Storage Container! He cared enough to make one of the greatest inventions EVER a reality for all of us.

If you're still investing in Tupperware, you're insane.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


Time to fill you in on some celebrity gossip!

I got this little piece of gossip from D-Listed days ago - but it took a couple of days to digest. Keanu Reeves, who is not much older than me, is now dating Diane Keeton, who's like 59 or 60. I just think that is totally hot. Diane, you GO GIRL! Apparently they have dated before, which I did not know, but then Keanu met some young thing, which I did know. But did it last? Nope. So now he's back with Diane. Those young girls, they're dumb as rocks....aren't they, Keanu?

One of my favorite singers of all time, Neneh Cherry, was featured in a short blurb in Entertainment Weekly magazine recently. This was a relief for me, as it seems no one remembers who she is anymore. Girlfriend just kind of disappeared. Come to find out that Neneh backed off from show business because, as she put it, "I got slighly insecure about my work." SAY WHAT?? I guess this just goes to show that even the greatest get the blues. The good news is Neneh is planning a solo comeback. I'll be there, Neneh, with checkbook in hand. I haven't forgotten who you are.

And finally, Jean-Claude Van Damme is looking like a crazed Marine drill instructor these days. He looks more than just a little scary.