Saturday, December 18, 2004
Transplants Vs. Native Southerners
Here in my section of the South we have quite a few of what we call "Transplants". These are people that moved Here from Elsewhere and try take over and control the world. The Transplants are often easy to spot....they're the ones speeding when its snowing out. In fact, most of them are the only ones on the road when its snowing, because all the Southerners stay home. Here's another, seasonal way to spot Transplants. See if you can spot the subtle difference between the Transplant who's trying to practice good restrained taste in decorating and the Native Southerner With Attitude who has given the middle finger to the Homeowner's Association:
Sorry for the lousy photographs. I'm thinking about teaching a Bad Photography class next semester at the local community college.
So how did you do? If you guessed the second picture as being the habitat of the Native Southerner With Attitude, you would be correct! See, its not so hard! You would score some extra points if you guessed that the second house also featured a looped recording of Santa Claus singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".......over and over and over. If I were that person's neighbor, we'd have to have a talk about the loop recording. The lights I can handle. The singing...we're going to have a problem.
This Native Southerner scores massive extra points for creativity:
- I can dig it. This is the actual truck, not an outline of a pretend truck.
Does this look like an extremely cute -n- tiny one-room church? Good, because that's exactly what it is.
This is probably the only church for hundreds of miles that doesn't try to recruit new members. There's no room for them. There is probably a waiting list of people to become members. And I bet if you don't tithe every week, you're outta there!
Here's the plan for the rest of the weekend:
1. Friday night - crash
2. Saturday morning - get up fairly early and take Sparkle to finish Christmas shopping.
3. Get home as soon as possible - crash
4. Do not leave the house or go outside until time to leave for work Monday morning.
Hibernation - its a beautiful thing.
- this little itty-bitty teeny-tiny fuzzy-wuzzy is soooo CUTE!
Here's the Christmas Cartoon of the Day!
Posted by firstname.lastname@example.org @ 2:01 AM