I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Saturday, April 30, 2005


Women in rock I have respect for:

Bonnie Raitt - its not like I sit around and listen to her stuff all the time but the lady can play the guitar and she holds her own with the boys.

Joni Mitchell - Joni is my idol. A beautiful artist with a beautiful vision; guitar woman extraordinare. She tends to be bitter about not getting all the recognition she deserves.
Joan Jett - she's not one of my favorite musicians but she was a pioneer for women. She showed that girls weren't all fluff; she would kick your ass if you pissed her off.

Ann Wilson (of Heart) - an absolute phenomenon vocalist - an 8 (count 'em, 8) octave range at her peak. An unbelievable talent who was forced to take a back seat because her bandmate sister was prettier.
Liz Phair - Liz could have just as easily made the other list below. It depends on what Liz Phair we're talking about. Liz before 1997 is why she is on my respect list. I have a sneaky feeling that she is one of those many that take their orders from a behind-the-scenes guy. Whoever had the reins circa 1993 is who I respect.

Linda Ronstadt - beautiful voice. A lot of girls looked up to Linda in the 1970's.
Mary Timony - See blog entry on May 2

Sleater-Kinney - three girls that get the job done. They are good musicians and seriously devoted to being the best they can be. Guitarist Carrie Brownstein has a guitar style like I've never heard before either male or female. In my humble opinion, Janet Weiss (dammit, Janet!) is one of the best female drummers in rock.
Fiona Apple - gorgeous throaty voice. She almost ruins it all though, by being so fucking weird.

Bjork - intense avant garde music chick. She almost ruins it all though, by wearing dead swans to movie award shows.
Rebecca Gates of the Spinanes - an excellent musician. Why don't we hear from her more often than we do?

Kim Deal - talented "token band chick" breaks free from authoritative band leader and starts her own gig. She awes and inspires, but loses her steam to alcoholism. Eventually ends up back under authoritative band leader as a token band chick. But her awesome and inspiring time will forever earn her respect in my book.
PJ Harvey - excellent female guitarist. Not afraid to experiment with different forms of music. I am not a fan of every single record she ever put out, but she gets major props for the chances she takes.

Tanya Donnelly - pretty singer and competent guitarist. I always liked Throwing Muses and Belly, however she weighs heaviest on the respect scale with her appearance on the first Breeders album.
Kristin Hersch - Tortured artist extraordinaire....Kristin's the real deal. Every song is a page ripped out of the book of her soul. Admirable guitarist.

Miki Berenyi, Emma Anderson of Lush: These two girls formed their own vision of ethereal rock and then just got a couple of guys to keep the beat for them. Girl Power, indeed.
Christine McVie - smart musician with keyboard skills and song-writing prowess.

Women in rock I don't really care for:

Chrissie Hynde - I just never felt anything from Chrissie's music...it all kind of falls flat for me.
Nancy Wilson (of Heart): - not the great musician she's cracked up to be. "Yeah, but..." - but nothing. She's a competent rhythm guitarist, nothing more. Yes, she plays the acoustic intro to "Crazy on You" in concert....but so could we all if we practiced doing it every single day of our lives.

Juliana Hatfield - Not one of my favorites at all. File under "Tries too hard".....tries so hard to be an indie badass.....I bet she had a fit when Courtney showed up on the scene...Courtney was everything Juliana wanted to be. She has a weak warbling voice, too.
Kelley Deal - likable twin sister of Kim....but has no business being on a stage or holding a guitar. She is not a musician, period.
Janis Joplin - yeah, I know. And yes, she could sing. Very well. But its her voice that gets to me, folks. That over-emoting sand-papery screech. I respect where she was coming from....but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Courtney Love - I loved Courtney during her hey-day. She was funny, quotable, outrageous. Live Through This is a classic work of art. It wasn't until later records that I began to realize a lot of things about this woman, none of them flattering at all. I finally had to admit that Kurt probably wrote Live Through This.

Brody Dalle - Brody seems serious about music and serious about improving her musicianship (which does need improving thus far) but the way she dumped Tim Armstrong and then had her tongue all in a knot with Josh Homme in Rolling Stone only a few weeks later.....well, it just didn't look good, folks. It came across as "Quick, gotta latch onto some guy that can help me further my career!"

Stevie Nicks - the "Ye Olde Goode White Witch" act went stale for me pretty quick. Her voice was like a tiny songbird tinkling in your ear, but she didn't know how to sing properly and blew her vocal cords out pretty early on....resulting in a nasally whining singing voice that makes you want to go out and kill people.

Yoko Ono - oh boy. A legend in her own mind, about the only thing Yoko truly accomplished was helping John Lennon cross over from the eccentric to the absurd. There, I said it.

Friday, April 29, 2005


Everywhere I go, all over the internet, people have these cute little Quizilla quiz results posted. They go and take a great quiz along the lines of "Which of the Walton Kids are you?" and then when they are done, they post the results in the their blog.....upon which time their friends see it and say "OH HOW CUTE" and dash off to take their own test and post the results in their own blog.

But not me. No, not ever me. Oh sure, I say the "OH HOW CUTE" part and I dash off to take the test....but then.....I can never post it. I copy the HTML and paste it, but it doesn't come up right. Something is always missing....usually the picture or something will just be very screwy. I've tried rearranging the stuff to match exactly how it is in the quiz box, to no avail. What is the deal with this? Can someone tell me what I am doing wrong?

AHA! If you clicked, you're a dumbass now too! Also, I am really bummed because sometimes when I post comments on other people's blogs that have Blogger comments, it duplicates itself 2 or 3 times. This makes me look even dumber than I really am. I can't stand for the screen to come back up and there's two or three of my stupid little picture there.

Thursday, April 28, 2005


Southern lessons: if you want to be southern, you'd better learn some politically correct manners. Hurting other people's feelings is not allowed or you're not going to be invited to any pig-pickin's........therefore you will miss out on all the free keg beer. Here's a handy reference guide, print it off and memorize it, you rude loser.

How to Speak about Women
1. She is not a "babe" or a "chick". She is a "Breasted American".
2. She is not a "screamer" or a "moaner". She is "Vocally Appreciative."

3. She is not "easy". She is "Horizontally Accessible".
4. She is not a "dumb blonde". She is a "Light-haired Detour Off the Information Superhighway".
5. She has not "been around". She is a "Previously Enjoyed companion".
6. She is not an "air head". She is "Reality Impaired".
7. She does not get "! drunk" or "tipsy". She gets "Chemically Inconvenienced".
8. She does not have "breast implants". She is "Medically Enhanced."
9. She does not "nag" you. She becomes "Verbally Repetitive".
10. She is not a "tramp" - She is "Sexually Extroverted".
11. She does not have "Major League Hooters". She Is "Pectorally Superior".
12. She is not a "two-bit hooker". She is a "Low Cost Provider".

How To Speak About Men
1. He does not have a "beer gut". He has developed a "Liquid Grain Storage Facility".
2. He is not a "bad dancer". He is "Overly Caucasian".
3. He does not "get lost all the time". He "investigates alternative destinations".
4. He is not "balding". He is in "Follicle Regression".
5. He is not a "cradle robber". He prefers "generationally differential relationships".
6. He does not get "falling-down drunk". He becomes "Accidentally Horizontal".
7. He does not act like a "total ass". He develops a case of "Rectal-Cranial Inversion".
8. He is not a "Male Chauvinist Pig". He has "Swine Empathy".
9. He is not afraid of "commitment". He is "relationship challenged".
10. He is not "horny". He is "sexually focused".
11. It's not his "crack" you see hanging out of his pants. It's "rear cleavage".

Wednesday, April 27, 2005


The following is totally plagerized from Defamer.com.....but its so funny that I can't stop laughing.

In a shocking turn of events that nobody possibly could have seen coming, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were photographed together while on a Shocking! Sex-tryst! In! Africa! (So alarmingly carnal was their sexual safari that Maddox Jolie was along to chaperone.) Photos of the couple’s bumpy Jeep ride through the sweat-drenched jungles of passion appeared in the British Sun and are headed to US Weekly (rumored pricetag: five kajillion dollars and a dozen poached elephant tusks), but are already streaming throught the internets Don’t stare too long on the bronzed bodies of the two sand-encrusted lovers, lest your retinas be seared by their smoldering genitals.

Come on world, let's get a grip.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


Happy birthday to Sparkle! 15 years ago I gave birth to a child that had so much hair that it stuck out all over her head. At the hospital, they kept her head and hair covered with vaseline to prevent "cradle cap". Once I got the baby home, I gave her a first bath on my own and washed her hair....and then:

POOF! It wouldn't lay down for anything. This picture always makes me smile.

The birthday banner came out pretty good. We're going to head over to the school early Tuesday morning and hang it up. Here ya go, as promised, the birthday banner!

Its okay. That bottom right corner has really suffered a lot. I was very very happy with how the little Ville Valo came out. Check it out:

So there it is, in all its Goth Glory. I'll be waiting to see if any parents complain.

Well it definitely raises the bar on birthday banners at the high school....hah hah! There is one month left......I'll be watching to see if someone kicks our ass (and you know someone will). Any child who gets a 2nd rate bed sheet/spray can birthday banner is going to feel shortchanged now. But please, next year, somebody please remind me to do something safer like butterflies and blue skies.


Monday, April 25, 2005


I spoke to an old friend of mine the other day and she happened to mention the Freak Brothers. I just threw my head back and laughed with happiness, the FREAK BROTHERS! What a great memory for me. Everybody knew who the Freak Brothers were and I just happened to be friends with them. It got me to thinking a lot about them and then I just had to get the pencil and paper out:

Here's the Freak Brothers as the Author (that would be me) remembers them, Freak #1 on left, Freak #2 on right. Notice #2 is in the act of slipping a cassette tape into his pocket.

The Freak Bros. were actual brothers, although it is doubtful that they had the exact same parents. Both were rather dark-complected, but Freak #1 was a lot darker than #2, maybe part Asian and extremely handsome ( I thought so, anyway). #2 was almost androgynous-looking and totally adorable. They were two scruffy boys who were always too skinny and always needed a haircut. Even when they got haircuts they still needed haircuts. Freak #1 was the older one but they were so close in age it didn't matter. #1 was laid back and always had a little smirk on his face, while #2 was a bit more fiery and mischevious. And they didn't have very much home life or home training....these boys were as wild as the wind.

Whenever I got a class with one of them (usually art classes), I always made sure to sit near where they were, because they were so hilarious. They totally didn't care about anything and were always in trouble and I didn't want to miss out on all the many jokes. I hardly ever got in trouble in school but both of them managed to get me in trouble on two seperate occasions. The first time was when #1 designed an alarmingly realistic penis out of clay, snuck it into the teacher's chair, doused it with lighter fluid and set that bad boy on fire. I laughed until I thought I would die. The teacher called my mom that night and told her that I was guilty of egging the flaming dildo situation on by laughing so much. The other time was in a class with #2 and a gang of us were sitting at a back table, laughing and joking. The teacher decided to single me out to move to a table by myself. I move myself and my stool over to the lonely table. About that time, tiny #2 explodes and tells her "NO I WANT HER TO SIT HERE" and walks over to me, grabs my stool, (with me still in it), and drags me back to his table. The teacher runs overs, screaming at #2, grabs my stool (with me still in it) and tries to drag me back to my lonely table. A tug of war ensues. I mostly got in trouble for laughing my ass off again that day, but #2 got slapped with a suspension over that one.

They could be annoying. Freak #1 was always wanting you to take him to the store....then would try to bum a few bucks off of you when you finally got him there. Freak #2 had the maddening habit of stealing cassette tapes. You would see him walking by the road, pick him up and give him a ride....and while chatting you up with all the latest gossip, he would be slipping your favorite cassette tape into his pocket. Neither of the boys had absolutely any manners....they had no problem with the concept of something like repeating their fart jokes in front of your parents. #1 once told my mother "Hey, you look just like a really old version of Brenda!" You can imagine how well THAT little comment went over.

They never missed the school dances. They usually just played Master of Ceremonies with the other guys in the parking lot, but they would come in for the last hour or so of the dance. And I was on their dance card. It just wasn't a school dance until I'd danced with a Freak Brother. Freak #2 was a great dancer....he was all twisting hips and hair-shaking. I'm sure he got a lot of practice dancing to all those cassette tapes he'd stolen. Everyone always wanted to dance with him. Freak #1 was a terrible dancer, most of his dances ending up being "Air Guitar" demonstrations, totally awkward, all over the floor, very much showing off. I usually did a standard step-clap, step-clap and let him have his limelight. I liked it a lot, though, when he would ask me to slow dance. He would hold me close in his smelly smoke-and-God-only-knows-what-else-infested Army jacket and whisper nice things to me that made me feel really good about myself.

One of the last times I saw the Freak Brothers, they stopped by my house with some other people. My stepmother insisted everyone stay for supper. I was totally mortified, convinced they would start a farting contest at the table or something, but they were behaving themselves. However, some friends of my parents arrived unannounced, so they left the table and went outside to socialize. As soon as they were gone, the Freak Brothers grabbed all the potatoes, gravy, beans, bread, whatever we were having, made huge piles of food on their plates and began gobbling it up like zoo animals. Much laughter and gaiety ensued, but as I watched them it dawned on me that these boys were really hungry....had they EVER had a home-cooked meal? It made me feel sad.

And as school friends often do....we drifted apart. I couldn't tell you what ever happened to them. They were really good boys, yeah they probably sold a boatload (or more!) of pot in their time, and they had a gold mine in contraband cassette tapes, but they were good people at heart.....just a little misguided. Part of me wishes hard that they married some really nice Freak girls and have a passel of Baby Freaks between the two of them. That they found good jobs and are following all the rules of society. Part of me seriously doubts that this ever happened.

I miss you, Freak Brothers.

Sunday, April 24, 2005


I'll be back blogging on Monday.....the birthday banner is almost done and I need to get the house in some kind of order...no time, no time. But enjoy your weekend and see ya on Monday!

*To Lindsay in Florida.....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2005



CURSES, dammit! My Village Photos account wasn't upgraded after all....I have no pics at the moment. They should still all be in place but I've just exceeded my bandwidth. I sent them an email so hopefully this will be handled soon and all the cute little pictures will return to their proper place. In the meantime, you people should really learn to read and quit depending on pictures to entertain you! ;-) What do you think this is, your own little Picturesque World???

I really don't have time to blog anyway......I've been painting like crazy on Sparkle's banner. I am going to be able to get it done in plenty of time....and if I do say so myself, its looking awesome. I'm really happy with how the little picture of Ville Valo is coming along....its semi-copied from a little drawing Sparkle had found somewhere. I hate copying someone else's work, but its what she wanted. I try to do little things to make it somewhat my own too. Who cares, I just want to get the thing done. I'll take pictures and post them as soon as I get my picture status settled.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


The good news is it appears that no cardinals were harmed in the choosing of the new Pope.

The bummer news ( or you might consider it great news) is that I probably won't be blogging quite as much this week due to the fact I have GOT to finish painting that birthday banner for Sparkle. I am going to hate myself so bad to have put this much work into it and then not finish it.

So today I'll keep it short and sweet. I watched VH1's Save The Music concert the other night. If you haven't seen it yet, I'm sure they will rerun it approximately one million times, so you should be able to catch it eventually. Anyway, I just had to comment on this:

Joss Stone comes out to sing a song. I had heard her sing before and she's pretty good. She holds her microphone with her right hand and waves her left hand in the air while she sings, like she's receiving transmissions direct from God. She is held up as one of the great singers of this time. Plus she's young and beautiful and everyone is nuts about her. She sang, people clapped hard.

Then Donna Summer comes out to join her in a duet. Now, folks, The Queen of Disco is getting on up there in age and its showing. She came out in a dowdy little black pantsuit-type outfit, at least 50 lbs heavier than when we last saw her, and looking quite tired around the eyes. She graciously accepts her polite applause....

holds up her microphone....

opens her throat....

and what comes out is 10 times more powerful and inspiring than anything Joss Stone could eeeeever hope to sing. It was absolutely thrilling to watch her vocally snatch every hair out of Joss' head and slap her around the room a few times.....all with her voice. And then she graciously accepted her standing ovation. My girl has still got it going on.

I'm not putting Joss Stone down....she's good. But she ain't the Disco Queen.

Perhaps Joss's microphone just wasn't functioning properly?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Well, when I wake up I am liable to find all my pictures are gone off my site. Today (the 18th) is the day my Village Photos account expires. They never sent me an email or anything. I changed it to where it would renew but it might not be in time. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.

Monday, April 18, 2005


Okay, I'm going to try to lay off the history for awhile after this blog post, but I think this particular bit is very well-timed.

All of the cardinals are about to be sequestered together to pray and elect a new pope. Its called a conclave. Hopefully these cardinals will take at least a moment to offer up a prayer of thanks that the year is not 1241. Pope Gregory IX died and Senator Matteo Orsini of Rome wanted to force a quick decision by the ten cardinals on just who the next pope would be, because pope-less times were dangerous times.

So this Orsini guy locks the cardinals up in a thousand year old temple called the Semptizonium. The cardinals were stuck in a room, all windows blocked, with a few pieces of broken furniture, and ordered to choose a successor. They were only given occasional food.

Weeks passed by and the defiant cardinals refused to make a choice. Orsini ordered his guards to start urinating and defecating through holes in the roof. Storms rolled through and turned the floor where the cardinals were being held into a grotesque soup. All of the cardinals got sick....one died and was quickly put in a coffin.....in the same room.

Finally the poor cardinals had had all they could take and finally elected Godfrey of Sabina as Pope Celestine IV. Orsini set them free and the cardinals hauled ass out of there. But the newly elected Celestine IV died 16 days later from the ordeal he had suffered.

And do you think those cardinals would come back and meet again to elect a new pope? NOPE. There was no pope from November 1241 to June 1243.

Hopefully our modern day cardinals will be treated more respectfully. However, I think it might be wise to send in the Red Cross just to check things over.

Saturday, April 16, 2005


Well, I promised you more penis for today....well, kind of. Better label this one a LACK of penis. Apparently from around the 1500's through the 1800's, some poor people had it so bad that they would sell their male children into musical apprenticeship. There was a huge need for males to sing the higher parts of the operas and in the church choirs...as females were not allowed. And you know what that means. The male children were sold and then......SNIIIIIIIP! Off to train for the opera and became what is known as Castrati.

Castration was banned by the Church and the state....so the story was given that the Castrati had all suffered unfortunate accidents as children. "Yes, I was trying to sew him a new garment and I had a sneeze to come upon me and....SNIIIIIP!"

But the Castrati were famous for their beautiful voices. French writer Charles De Brosses observed: "To enjoy the castrati one must first of all accept the unbelievable range of their voices. They are as clear and piercing as choirboys, yet infinitely more powerful. They are brilliant, loud and vibrant, an octave above the natural timbre of women, and tremendously vital." They were musical superstars and both sexes were often attracted to them.

Wow. And the most incredible thing of all...an actual recording of the last castrati exists...and thanks to the wonders of the internet, you the blog reader can actually listen.
Go to the bottom of the page and click on the word "sample".

It sounds kind of.....like.... someone who might not have any balls might be singing.

I have to wonder if the castrati are truly a thing of the past. Some modern day castrati suspects:

Robert Plant - though something was bulging in those tight pants

Geddy Lee - if he was in fact castrati, he later managed to grow a pair....he was able to tone it down a bit in later years.

Rob Halford.....and countless other metal singers from the 80's. However, if Rob is ball-less, he's the most ballsy of ball-lessness I've ever seen.....does that make any sense?

Frankie Valli - although I don't think it was actually him doing the castrati singing. Or was it? "Sheeeeeeeery Bayabeeeeeee"

Friday, April 15, 2005


I have reached the penis section of Richard Zacks' book "An Underground Education". Allow me to introduce you to the male codpiece.

Here is a modern day wanna-be that is modeling what looks like a section of brass ladel as his codpiece.

Men in the Middle Ages carried money, valuables, credit cards and car keys in little purses hanging from their belts, called a "cutpurse". Well, apparently someone decided their most valuable of valuables should be kept there instead....and a new fad was born. The codpiece became a most elegant fashion accesory, made of silk with ribbons, gold and jewels. (Perhaps this is how the phrase "The Family Jewels" was born?) In other words, it was a very good excuse for a man to really decorate that thing up, to get all the attention they could bring to it.

The guys couldn't just wear just any old codpiece the cat dragged in, though (there's a good joke there somewhere, but I'm feeling lazy). If you wore one that was too small, the women would snicker and giggle behind your back. I'm sure a few of the boys would, too. But if you tried to be a macho man and wear one that was ridiculously large, it pissed the women off. Because apparently even Middle Age women were saavy enough to realize you ain't living THAT large, Hercules. So your best bet was a codpiece that was "just this side of intriguing" in size. With maybe enough room for your lunch money, too.

Here's a Middle Ages guy with a codpiece that makes you go hmmmm......its not very ornamental, though, is it?

Today at work a man was dropping all his stuff in the elevator and cursed his pants pockets for not being deep enough to carry it all. So you know what solution popped into my mind immediately....and it was all I could do to stifle a laugh. ( I spend about 60% of my time stifling laughs and usually there is a very good reason that wouldn't hurt your feelings but its just too much trouble to explain it.)

Anyway, that got me to thinking about what if the codpiece came back in style? Men today would be decorating theirs with bells, whistles, neon flashing lights and a mini-ATM. And you can bet your buns they would not worry about such things as honesty in sizing. No, I think the codpiece is a fashion accesory best left in the past.

COMING TOMORROW - MORE PENIS! Well...kind of.....you'll see.....

Thursday, April 14, 2005


I've been watching a little bit of a music channel called Fuse lately and its okay as far as music channels go. The thing that really attracted me to keep it on the channel was the fact that they played an actual music video. Somebody forgot to tell the channel managers that "music channel" actually means "reality shows", I guess. And Fuse plays the same ol' playlist over and over just like a radio station....except every once in awhile they play something random and you just stop in your tracks. They played "In Circles" by Sunny Day Real Estate a little while ago and I was stunned. All of a sudden it was the 90's again and all the lead singers had psychotic looks on their faces while they sang.

Yep, you got it.

That's what I'm talking about.


The best news of the day is that Britney Spears has finally revealed that she is pregnant! HURRAY!!!!! Now, can we finally stop talking about her? Julia Roberts is one of the greatest movie stars on the planet and we all managed to keep our sanity when she was pregnant....with twins, no less. So maybe we can all relax and not dwell on every moment of Britney's pregnancy. Although one internet nerd with nothing more to do did manage to create a composite drawing of what an offspring from a Britney Spears/Kevin Federline union would look like:

I crack up every time I look at this. LOL! Too funny! Thank God for internet nerds with too much time on their hands.

My long-suspected obsessive-compulsive disorder is in full swing.....I am obsessed with history pre-1800's.....and how they dealt with their poo. What did they do with it? Well, does this drawing from the 1700's answer any questions for you?

Notice the hand coming out of the window on the upper left hand side. I have been assured that is NOT yesterday's rancid coffee getting dumped out of the window but rather fresh poo and other various bodily liquids. Who assured me of this? Richard Zacks, in his book called "An Underground Education" (the unauthorized and outrageous supplement to everything you thought you knew about art, sex, business, crime, science, medicine, and other fields of human knowledge.). This book is just as good as it sounds....however, I'm at the Poo Chapter right now and its driving me crazy. Mr. Zachs has presented all the hardcore facts necessary for me to conclude that the pre-1800's were just as nasty as I've always suspected they were.

Remember this next time you view a gorgeous medieval castle: the castles had small open chambers which let the poo drop down outdoors into the moat below but these eventually fell out of favor. Apparently it was not unknown for those using the holes to get a flaming arrow up the ass. However, this didn't stop the desecration of the moat....it was fact that a fragrant moat was often a prime defense of a castle.

Expect to hear some more from Mr. Zacks' book.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


Time to get some filing done.

File this one under "TAXES" - I am getting a lot more back this year. Why? There doesn't seem to be any obvious answer. I'm not complaining, mind you, but I AM wondering if....when I go back next year.....it would be rude to ask for the swarthy balding guy to do my forms again rather than the permed -n- teased elderly lady?

File this one under "At One With Nature" - While sitting in traffic today, I watched a wasp land on the hood of my car and begin to walk around. I would usually have no problem with that....but as I was At One With Nature....I instantly knew what was on that wasp's mind. I immediately began rolling my window up. Sure enough, right as the light turned green, the wasp took flight and headed directly into my driver's side window. BOINK!

File under "Obsolete Phrases": Remember back in the days before push button car windows were the norm? Back then we had to "roll our window up." Nowadays you get only blank stares if you say that to someone. Oh....you mean....PUT the window up? Yeah, yeah. Except you are in the Ghetto Car....you will still need to "roll" the window up. You will need to exert a few muscles.

File under "Why, Why, WHY?".....cross-file under "Lessons Learned the Hard Way":

You are looking at a bottle of soft contacts cleaner solution. Not my usual brand, but it was recommended to me by my eye doctor. It all seemed harmless enough....until I cleaned my contacts with it and then my eyes almost burned out of their sockets. I have never felt such eye pain before. I finally got the contacts out and recovered for a few minutes....then I discovered the problem:

Oh silly me! I didn't read the label well enough! I should have known to NEVER put the soft contact cleaning and disinfecting solution IN MY EYES! Needless to say, I am back with my tried and true brand ("Renu") that I've never found it necessary to start a file on.

File this one under "Crabbiness": Everyone has been running around screaming about how beautiful the weather is. Beautiful! Beautiful! So here I am secretly loving the fact that the temperature is getting ready to drop and the rains are on their way. That ought to put a serious crunk in their positivity for a few days.

File under "Paranoid": Anyone else out there think this could possibly be the Viking King?

File Under "Quotes" - cross-file under "Reasons to Use Drugs":
"My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis and I am in my proper atmosphere. I can dispense with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence."
- Sherlock Holmes/ Sir Arthur Whatever His Name Was.
I can't help but notice, however, that Sherlocky didn't include raising teenagers in his list of beautiful things.

And finally, File under "Whoddathunkit?": Did you know that after the famous pirate Captain Kidd was executed in Britain, those fun-loving British encased his body in pine resin, bound him in leather straps, and hung his body from a gallows on the Thames River....for years? How many years was not specified....but we're talking about a body hanging around....so even ONE year would be quite grotesque.

Monday, April 11, 2005


Just a short update:

I am behind on everything and when I have time to catch up on stuff, I usually spend it staring out into space. Things aren't any better between Sparkle and I and it doesn't seem they will get any better. Which means I've done all I can do and apparently my time here on Earth should be about done, since my usefulness appears to be at an end.

My Trail of Dead pictures - I was very honored to find out that Eilis Keeley, Conrad's mother, visited the blog and saw the pictures! And liked them! Thanks for coming by Eilis and hopefully you will come check out the Planet again one day.

Well that's all for now. See ya soon.

Saturday, April 09, 2005


Today's Special Guest Blogger.....ACE!

Musicians have to pay the bills, too....

What, you thought I was kidding? Sumyung guy, two old people, and a plant!!!!!!

Okay, so its not my dream gig.....did YOU make any money playing music today?

That's okay, one day I'll be world-famous.....and you'll remember me when back when I was just "Sumyunguy"!

Friday, April 08, 2005


Here are my pictures from the Trail of Dead concert the other night.

You got your mojo working?

I got there late and missed the OPENING opening band. However, no one was buzzing about them or could even remember their name, so apparently I didn't miss too much. The next band was called the Octopus Project. They were a dance/rave music band and if you were to tell me that this band had played less than 20 shows before I wouldn't have been surprised. There was too much fiddling and noodling around with their instruments, like they weren't doing what they were supposed to be doing or something. The band members switched instruments just like Trail of Dead does, but they would do it right in the middle of a song, multiple times! One guy was rushing around the stage having such fits that I never could get a decent picture of him, even using the "motion" setting. There was just too much confusion, both in their music and on the stage. Once their set was over, no one was too sad to see them depart.

Here is the girl from the Octopus Project. Yes that is a 3 pronged electrical outlet covering her head. If you have any theories you would like to share, I would be happy to listen, for I don't have any theories of my own to share.

Finally it was time for Trail of Dead. I was able to get some decent pics due to the fact that the audience was very well-behaved, none of this Queens of the Stone Age killing each other business.

The band played well. My only complaint about the show was the sound. The sound guy should have turned the instrument mics down a notch or two and cranked the vocals up quite a lot. Sometimes I couldn't even hear them singing.

Here is Conrad singing his little heart out:

The bass player is very tall and all his stage moves reminds me of Krist Novoselic. In fact, if this guy had taken off his shoes and gone barefoot, you wouldn't have known it WASN'T Krist Novoselic.

I had to do a lot of touching up on the next photo. It had Red Eye so bad that he looked like a robot. It looked like he was looking straight at me until I got the red eye corrected....as you can see, he's staring off into Dreamland.........

Speaking of staring off into Dreamland, here is my most favorite Conrad picture I took. He looks like he is thinking about something very deep and meaningful, but actually he's probably thinking about how he forgot to send his license plate renewal form back to the DMV:

TOD encourages audience participation during their shows....not just cheering the band on but to participate in the actual making of the music. While he was drumming during one song, Conrad accidentally knocked a cymbal over. He grabs it and heads for the edge of the stage:

Next thing you know, some drumsticks are passed around and soon several members of the audience are keeping the beat right along with him!

My Inner Child was screaming " I WANNA PLAY TOO!" but I am glad I was able to capture the incident on film for the blog.

And so, that's that. Their new album is called Worlds Apart so go pick it up. Even you guys who say we don't have the same taste in music....I think you would enjoy this CD.

And last of all, here's a stab I took at "concept photography":

I'll catch you on your blog this weekend!