I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Regis Philbin = Robot


ATTENTION BARGAIN HUNTERS: I have discovered two boxes of inkjet printer cartridges that have never been used...apparently I bought them by accident and forgot to take them back. Both of them are HP Inkjet #29 (or 51629a if you go by the old numbers). I will sell them to you for a ridiculously low price if you are interested. Just email me and we'll work something out. I will ship to continental US or Canada.

I know I said I would blog about hitting the deer today but I'm not ready yet. It is all still too fresh, too painful, too devastating. That poor little thing!

Don't crowd too close, ladies....he's only one man......

It was announced today that Regis Philbin would be filling in for Dick Clark on "The New Year's Rocking Eve" because of Dick Clark still recovering from his stroke. Say what? What kind of "Rocking" do you call this? Yeah I know, Dick Clark is old too but at least he does have a credible rock and roll past. Was Regis really the best they could do? Someone like that Ryan Seachrest from American Idol would be a nice, safe, mainstream choice to hand the reins over to. I just don't understand the Regis Philbin choice.....even KELLY would have been a better choice! Or Sharon Osbourne, for heaven's sake!

But then again, I don't really know anything about Regis Philbin's past either. Who is he, really? Didn't it seem like he just kind of showed up one day and you finally figured out he was on some TV program? Kind of like he dropped from outer space. Kind of like a.........robot.

I don't think I've ever mentioned this in the blog before but I have Robot Phobia. Back in the day, in ALL the cartoons, robots were evil. If a cartoon plot involved a robot, it went like this: someone builds a robot that's designed to do something incredible. But then something goes terribly wrong and the robot gains a mind of its own and wants to CONTROL THE WORLD (you have to say it real loud and aggressive like the old cartoon people used to do). But then whoever the cartoon hero was steps in and somehow destroys the robot and all is saved. So you see, a whole generation of kids were trained to believe that robots were evil.

And if it was on the cartoons, I never questioned that it might not be true.

Those cartoon plots would also involve computers sometimes. This was back in the days when a computer was a huge bank of equipment in a room the size of a football field that spewed out data that looked an awful lot like a time card that needed punching and had a load of blinking lights for aesthetic purposes.

They always had these huge reel-to-reel wheels turning and about all they were good for was addition and maybe subtraction if they were sophisticated. They tended to have world domination aspirations in the cartoon world also.

So what's my point? I have two:
POINT #1: The next time your parents totally goof up on the computer or annoy you by not trying to learn it at all, just remember we were TAUGHT that these things were spawns of the devil and to avoid them at all cost before they took over our minds.
POINT #2: If anyone knows anything about Regis Philbin before he joined forces with Kathy Lee and if you can PROVE he's not a robot, do share it with us!!!

- LOL!

And here's the Christmas Cartoon of the Day: