I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
The Adventures of Today



- Not just any old guide. The EASYGOING guide.

Good Lord, Dick Clark had a stroke. They said he should be fine but still....he's supposed to be the Eternal Teenager. I'm having some real age issues here lately. If Dick Clark can get old....I'm definitely going to get old. But that's okay cause so are you.

I went shopping not once but TWO times today. The first time I went to pick up some stuff I had ordered for Christmas and I saw an antique store I had never noticed before. I'm not really an antiques buff but this store looked different. UPSCALE antiques, not your grandmammy's washboard antiques. The whole situation looked dangerous but I entered the store anyway. Holy shit! I'd never been in a place like this before except a museum. There were all these ancient African masks, an ancient African tribal musical instrument that resembled a primitive piano, a 450 million year old beetle fossil, ancient swords, all kinds of stuff from Russia, an 18th century painting done on wood just sitting there on a table (you know I had to sneak a little touch just to say I'd touched a painting that old). And then in the back of the store were all these ancient telescopes and microscopes! I was totally going insane. These things looked like stuff that Franz Ferdinand Gallileo and people like that used. There was a case of old medical and surgical instruments....even a set of forceps that you just knew some long ago doctor used to extract a baby from a screaming mother with no anesthesia. Everything costed hundreds and thousands of dollars. I could have stayed in that store all freaking day.


The proprietor of the store was seated at a workstation in the back doing something to an ancient microscope. He kept peering at me from over his bifocals....kind of like this.....

I could tell he was really busy and he knew I wasn't going to be buying hundreds of thousands of dollars in antiques, so I skedaddled my Ghetto self out of there....but if he had been even the slightest bit friendly I would have pelted him with questions until he got pissed and threw me out.

Later on I took Sparkle, Ace and Hershey Bar to the mall. Mistake. They found a rack of puppets and things started getting really out of hand. The whole reason we were there was to find some nice red shirts because the boys are starring in their school play version of Boogie Nights. Or something like that.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure its Boogie Nights. Anyway, as you can see we found some righteous red shirts in the ladies' section of Hecht's. Ace went for the rock star look and Hershey Bar went for the pimpin' velour red look. Sparkle and I had great fun combing the racks for just the right thing....and I think the department store ladies were having more fun than we were. They, of course, were in denial the whole time.

I never realized a red shirt could be such a confidence booster.

And that's it for today! I leave you with a Christmas cartoon, courtesy of Texas Gurl http://txgurl.blogspot.com/ She sent me a whole supply of Christmas cartoons so expect one every single day.