I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, December 10, 2004
All The News That Matters (and Quite a Bit That Doesn't)


So this guy just walks in a nightclub on Wednesday night and blows Dimebag Darrell and several other folks away. Does it seem like the whole world has gone crazy sometimes? There is an internet rumor that the "fan" was pissed off because Pantera broke up.....oh boy. Now I'm passionate about my music too but at what point does one go over the line like this? And why do these "fans" always hurt or kill people that actually have some talent as opposed to people who suck like...oh wait, that might not be a good idea to name names.

A lot of people are asking "well how did the guy get a gun into a nightclub?" Simple. He put it in his coat pocket and walked in. Do you other people in other places have to go through a metal detector or get frisked for a club show? Here in my neck of the woods you just go right on in if you've paid your cover. I don't think metal detectors are the answer anyway. There should be some kind of Freak Detector and I have invented just what is needed:

Simply point this device in the general direction of the person in question to determine their level of Freakazoidness. The device has 6 handy and easy to use settings, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Rock Music Fan, Movie Star Fan, Postal Worker and Serial Killer. Act now and we'll include an extra special detection setting, Al-Qaeda Devotee, absolutely free!

RIP Dimebag, at least you went out doing that which you loved. All you ever wanted was to play your guitar and scowl at us. May your heavenly bounty expand to include a full ounce.

Hey Girlfriends! Are you having money concerns this Christmas? Are you worried that you might not be able to get Mom or that special best friend on your list a gift worth remembering? Well, the soultion to the problem lies right in your bathroom cabinet!

Maxi Pad Slippers! They are cheap, absorbent, sanitary and made to fit a woman's body. No more bending over to mop up spills! Disposable and biodegradable! Non-slip grip strips on the soles make these slippers safe for any woman on your list! Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light day, and Get out the Sand Bags.

And for the Greek God Wannabes in your life, make sure to use Always with Wings!

I am well on my way to becoming a real-life computer geek. I was having a.....umm....problem and I couldn't figure it out. I knew all I had to do was post my problem here and someone would help me...but its something so basic, so fundamentally fundamental that I knew I'd hear about it for weeks. So I actually applied a bit of brain power and I figured it out. Woah. I'm getting rather fearless about trying new things. I laugh in the face of viruses and I boldly enter any site I choose because I no longer fear the Adware/Spyware problem. I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now but you've got to give me some props here.....during my last week of high school my typing teacher got one of those new-fangled IBM Selectric typewriters where you could preview the whole text and make corrections before you let your final copy type. When's the last time you saw a packet of Correct-Type? Uh huh. I'm teaching myself....that's brain exercise....and brain exercise helps ward off Alzheimers (I told you I am having age issues).

I heard the the coolest Christmas song today by Denver and The Mile High Orchestra. Its called "Frosty the Bluesman" and it was so cool it inspired me to create some artwork to go with select lyrics. The tune is similar to "Bad to The Bone" by George Thoroughgood.

And finally, here's your Christmas Cartoon of the Day: