I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Thursday, January 06, 2005


I didn't have any problems out of He Who Might Be A Robot today. I was on edge all morning because apparently Confrontation was on his list of resolutions for the New Year. Everyone was anxious to tell me about his/her experience getting confronted by HWMBAR on Tuesday for whatever. So I was waiting for my turn but...nothing. Someone told me I've built up HWMBAR too much in my mind, that I've turned him into something more vicious than what he is. Well, I do tend to do that, I have judged some peoples' character to be way better or far worse than it actually is. But I have looked HWMBAR in the eyes...and what did I see? I saw data analysis, spreadsheets, calculations and budget projections. I saw digital scanners and x-ray vision. I saw the little light in his mouth that goes on and off when he talks. HE ONCE TOLD ME HE DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS! He's smart as can be and emotion-free!

I don't think pegging him as a Robot is too far off the mark. Bottom line: I hate confrontation, but I really REALLY hate it when I'm the one in the wrong. I think it goes back to childhood issues that only deep psychiatric analysis could explain.

Drastically changing subjects, check out these old Kool-Aid packs. I can remember when they used these Marcia and Bobby Brady clones to hawk the Kool-Aid. Then they got this anonymous guy:

Sorry, but a pitcher with a benign happy face on it just does not seem as marketable to me. I have a theory about what happened though, I think that so many adults were drinking the stuff that they had to make it less embarrassing to purchase at the grocery store. To brainwash you into thinking its a happy drink and not packed with enough sugar to send you into a diabetic coma. Here's another product brain wash of epic proportions:

It's the same damn cereal...but changing the name from "Sugar" to "Corn" is supposed to make mothers feel better about serving it to their kids. But wait! While doing my research on this, I discovered that there was actually a transition period:

Sugar Corn Pops! I guess the marketing people figured it wouldn't be too smart to just yank the "Sugar" out of the breakfast cereal too fast...people might go into D.T.'s. They have to be eased into this kind of thing. It was mighty kind of Kellogg's to consider our feelings when planning out this brain wash....this can be compared to easing the public into accepting John Mellencamp from being John Cougar by calling him John Cougar Mellencamp for awhile:

Same man, just more nutritious? I wonder if he eats Corn Pops? I always thought ol' Mr. Mellencamp was quite attractive in a prehistoric low-lying forehead kind of way. Mad props for good hair, too. He ain't no Johnny Depp, though.

Sorry, was that a too-obvious excuse to post yet another Johnny Depp pic?