I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Saturday, January 01, 2005


Well, the New Year came and went. I let Sparkle have a few of her friends over for a litte get-together to ring in the New Year. They are very well-behaved and good kids. They didn't trash the house bad at all. The girls are polite and friendly and the boys never forget to put the toilet seat back down. However, when it comes to the camera and posing for pictures....I just really don't know what to say. Here's the only one I've deemed fit for publication on the World Wide Web:

Lou and Dano, who haven't been on the blog before. The rest of you are crazy if you think those pictures are going up.

Sparkle asked and I decided it was okay to have this little party at the last second. Then it was this big major operation to run around town and put this thing together. But I did it, thanks to Pizza Hut and a lot of luck. I have got to stop being so impulsive and start planning things out a little bit. It's too stressful living for the moment. Which brings me to.....

It's time for New Year's Resolutions and I have mine all ready to go. However, unlike 99.9% of the population, I will keep a New Year's Resolution until the bitter end. For instance, an exercise resolution can mean I'll be out in 40 degree below weather running on ice trying to feel the burn. I have to work in extra phrases and clauses so I won't go overboard. I won't bore you with my list...I'll just cut it short and tell you that my resolution this year, in a nutshell, is to attain PERFECTION. I resolve to be so perfect in every single facet of life that you won't even be able to stand being around me. June Cleaver shall rise again!

Whatever, but even I know that you never begin your New Year's Resolutions on January 1. That's just begging for failure. You always wait until you go back to work for the year of perfection to begin. So I've been a slovenly sloth today and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

So time moves on and another year begins. The prior year goes into the history books. We all get a little bit older. Well, most of us, anyway. Look what someone sent me:

This is an age-enhanced photograph of what Johnny Depp will look like as an elderly person! My God, this is sacrilege! This will never happen! All the nurses at the Retirement Home would be falling all over themselves to kiss his age spots and massage those mighty-fine arthritic bones.

Okay, that's it. I have slothing to do. I hope everyone out there had a great New Year's whatever you did and I hope this year will bring good things to everyone.