I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, December 08, 2006


I didn't have a BAD day....it was just a BLAH day. Low energy, boring work, semi-bad attitude. And then, to top it all off, I had to go to the GROCERY STORE after work! As most of you know, grocery shopping is what I hate the worst, followed closely by cooking, dishes, laundry, and dusting. But I digress.

So there I was, grocery shopping and hating life to the extreme. And then......with a thundering boom the skies parted, the sweet voices of angels began to sing, and as the shimmering, healing lights of heaven beamed down, I exalted in a vision of great magnitude:

A Johnny Depp magazine. A whole magazine about Johnny Depp. With Johnny Depp pictures and Johnny Depp interviews. Its kind of like a Johnny Deppapalooza. I can wallow around in Deppness anytime I want to. And even though I don't get paid until tomorrow, I held the magazine closely and realized that oh yes, it would be mine. (bitch costed $9.95!)

And speaking of hotness, I think Avon is on to something good. I've been dealing Avon out on the streets for well over 6 months now, and never has an Avon book caused so many women to get all sweaty and bothered:

I have women coming to me begging for the book! They are asking if Derek Jeter himself is actually for sale. Naturally, my inner saleswoman took advantage of this interest to go ahead and pimp him out for a few nights at $29.95 (including a free makeup bag!), but something tells me I'll have to refund that money. I had no idea Derek Jeter was like, such hotness.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but can he sell cologne? The world will be watching.