I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007


I got to work a little later than usual this morning and missed out on the Ultra Primo secrion parking space I usually get. However, I was able to snag a space under a tree in the Quite Adequate section of the parking lot with no problem, so everything was great.

Until time to go home this evening!!!! I get out to my car, and Jesus H. Christ, every frickin' bird in town must have landed in that tree today and took a POOP! I'm not just complaining about some bird poop here, I mean the entire front of my car was SMOTHERED in shit! You would have never guessed my car was green if the front of my car was all you could see. I thought for a second it was a practical joke, but the person parked across from me had gotten it just as bad. Please believe me when I tell you, I have never seen a poop fiasco like this in my entire life. There was poop piled on poop. It was all over the windshield. And the sun had baked it on solid. I was in tears.

This is close, real close. I seriously think mine was a little worse.

I started the car and turned on the windshield wiper and fluid. OH. MY. GOD. It was so horrible. Some pieces were not going to be moved, and the rest just smeared. I was finally able to get a section clear so I could at least see where I was going. I called Sparkle to let her know I was going to be late and headed straight for the car wash.

I put the quarters in and started blowing shit everywhere. Some of it would not budge. I had to hold the spray wand at full pressure mere centimeters from the poop before some of it would blow off of there. One poop pile at a time.

How long did it take me to wash my car? Close to an hour. How much did it cost me to wash my car? $12.75.

Have you noticed that I seem to be having a lot of animal problems lately? Squirrels, cats, mice, rabbits and birds. I feel as if Pan has put a curse on me. I'm finally paying the price for hitting that rabbit awhile back.

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