I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, May 20, 2005


People around the world have been torturing themselves, trying to analyze just WHY this is happening. Well the answer is easy. Gather around children, I shall reveal all.

Everyone already knows Tom Cruise is.................someone used to filing lawsuits (and he wins, too). Apparently Tom has some unshakable standards of what a Hollywood leading man should and shouldn't be, and is more than willing to structure his personal life to meet his public ideal. He needs a girl like Katie.

And what's in it for her? Well, obviously....highly desirable and "meaty" roles that someone with Tom Cruise's Hollywood star power can obtain for her. I bet you won't see Katie typecast into a "sweet young girl" role for a long, long time. In the near future, look for Katie to play a psycho, a murderess, a hooker, a woman masquerading as a man, a terminally ill patient, and a feisty single mom. All future performances, of course, will be big-name releases, eligible for Oscar nominations. No more indie Sundance roles for Katie. And when she finally gets her Oscar....and she WILL get one.....you will know she performed in the greatest role of her life to obtain it.