I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Saturday, April 16, 2005


Well, I promised you more penis for today....well, kind of. Better label this one a LACK of penis. Apparently from around the 1500's through the 1800's, some poor people had it so bad that they would sell their male children into musical apprenticeship. There was a huge need for males to sing the higher parts of the operas and in the church choirs...as females were not allowed. And you know what that means. The male children were sold and then......SNIIIIIIIP! Off to train for the opera and became what is known as Castrati.

Castration was banned by the Church and the state....so the story was given that the Castrati had all suffered unfortunate accidents as children. "Yes, I was trying to sew him a new garment and I had a sneeze to come upon me and....SNIIIIIP!"

But the Castrati were famous for their beautiful voices. French writer Charles De Brosses observed: "To enjoy the castrati one must first of all accept the unbelievable range of their voices. They are as clear and piercing as choirboys, yet infinitely more powerful. They are brilliant, loud and vibrant, an octave above the natural timbre of women, and tremendously vital." They were musical superstars and both sexes were often attracted to them.

Wow. And the most incredible thing of all...an actual recording of the last castrati exists...and thanks to the wonders of the internet, you the blog reader can actually listen.
Go to the bottom of the page and click on the word "sample".

It sounds kind of.....like.... someone who might not have any balls might be singing.

I have to wonder if the castrati are truly a thing of the past. Some modern day castrati suspects:

Robert Plant - though something was bulging in those tight pants

Geddy Lee - if he was in fact castrati, he later managed to grow a pair....he was able to tone it down a bit in later years.

Rob Halford.....and countless other metal singers from the 80's. However, if Rob is ball-less, he's the most ballsy of ball-lessness I've ever seen.....does that make any sense?

Frankie Valli - although I don't think it was actually him doing the castrati singing. Or was it? "Sheeeeeeeery Bayabeeeeeee"