I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Thursday, March 22, 2007


I couldn't find a "Full Service" station, so I pulled up at a repair garage and popped the hood. Hoss immediately comes walking out "can I help you?" I smiled as sincerely as I could and told him "no, I was just hearing a knocking sound under the hood while I was driving and I was going to check it out." Since this is North Carolina, Hoss of course was not going to let a helpless and brainless woman look under the hood of a car. THAT'S MAN WORK! I stood back respectfully while he finished opening the hood. The first words out of his mouth was "it smells like a barn in here".
Me: "A barn?" I step closer. "Ewwww, yeah,....EWWWW!"
Hoss digs around and digs deep. He gets his flashlight. And sure enough, he hits pay dirt. Out he comes with a nice sized partially decayed dead mouse. I immediately go into histrionics "OH MY GOD, I can't believe that THING was in my car! How did it get there? Ewwwwwww! " Hoss is holding the mouse carcass by the tip of the tail with the actual body laying in his grease rag and he's laughing, a jolly but phlegmy sound. By this time, Jughead, Goober and Moose have decided to come check out the action. Jughead says "Day-um!" and Moose is like "You mean you won't smellin' that thang?" Ol' Moose has a brain in that head. "No, I never smelled anything!" I say, in a convincing "I can't believe this" voice. Goober just stood there smoking....looking at the mouse and then looking at me, then back at the mouse.

Finally Hoss is like, "well, start the car and let me hear that knocking sound." I start up the car and of course its purring like a kitten. "Everything seems to be running right along", Moose says eventually. "I know!" I say. "It must have been the mouse causing it. Thank you sir so much, please let me pay you something!" He refused, as all southern gentlemen do, but he didn't fight too hard when I pressed $5 into his hand.

So I didn't have to deal with any carcass, smell, maggots, and anything of the sort. Hoss took care of the whole business and didn't even charge me a corpse disposal fee. And Hoss was $5 richer. Jughead, Goober and Moose got a bit of entertainment to break up their day. This was a total win/win situation for everyone involved. Except for the poor mousie, of course.