I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Monday, January 22, 2007


I was 10 years old. My mother took my sister and I for a short weekend to the beach to get away from it all. We threw on our bathing suits and dashed to the pool. I dipped a foot in and it was WAY too cold for me, I wasn't going in. My sister grabbed me from behind and was going to throw me in.

"No, no, no", I was really struggling, but she was determined.

She threw me in the pool. She didn't throw me far enough. My head smacked the concrete.

I remember coming to in the water. I was in a beautiful ripply world of blue and the sun was shining in and for a split second I thought I was in heaven. Water in my nose brought me back to reality, and I headed for the surface.

Everyone was staring at me. My sister was pale. People were asking, "are you all right?" and I'm like "sure". I sat down on a lounge chair. I became aware of the back of my head really hurting. When no one was looking, I touched the back of my head. I could feel it give in under my fingers. My skull was cracked and I knew it was serious, even at 10 years old.

From that instant, it became my mission that no one would ever find out. Why? I don't know, it was just important to me that no one know that the right side of the back of my head was caved in like a rotten pumpkin. I told my sister I was going to the motel room to get a drink and that I had to go to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, I noticed that my legs were spazzing slightly. My teeth started to chatter uncontrollaby. I touched the back of my head one more time, and I could tell it was bad. It had started to swell and I couldn't feel the shattered bone anymore. I vowed right then never to touch it again because it needed to heal. And I didn't touch it again.

My mother started realizing I wasn't acting right, so I told her I thought I was catching a cold because I didn't feel too good. She put me to bed and I went willingly, on my left side, of course. And fell mercifully asleep. And mercifully, because God loves his foolish little children, I woke up later and I was okay, the only problem was an exquisitely painful headache.

I slept on my left side for at least a year or longer. I didn't brush my hair in that area for just as long. I would only lightly shampoo the ends of my hair in that area. Finally one day, I gave myself permission to feel. And though there was still a ghost of pain back there, my fingers felt firmness. There was a major dip in my skull, but it was firm again.

No one ever knew. And no one knew until a couple of weeks ago, when I impulsively told my daughter about it. She freaked. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL SOMEONE?"......I don't know why! I guess a good skull cracking can make you do strange things, for years even. It was a horribly stupid thing to do.

I am sure that the fact that I was dropped on my head as a child is going to answer a whole lot of questions for a whole lot of people. I am now officially out of the head injury closet.