I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006


You guys are the best! Thanks to all of your help and suggestions, I am feeling more confident than ever. It has been a LONG time since I have written an essay.....well, one that was going to be graded anyway, so you guys have been like a crutch to me. I write the FINAL DRAFT tonight! Now, I leave you with a short TOO MUCH INFORMATION blog entry that I wrote last week actually, but it was such a moving experience, I still thought I would share:

I should have known better.

A lady at work came up to me and said "Look what I got!" and opened a bag. I looked down in there and it was crammed with packages of Breath Savers. I was like "Da-yum girl! Where'd you get all those?" and she just smiled really big and acted like she was flicking ash off of an imaginary cigar, which I took as a cue to not ask. So I took a pack. She was like "Oh no, girlfriend, GET YOU SOME!" so I dug in and ended up with 6 packs. A gracious "thank you" and she moved on to spread the cheer further.

I had never eaten a Breath Savers, so I popped it into my mouth and was blown away by its cool, refreshing wintergreen flavor. My mouth felt fresh. It kind of reminded me of how I would like my mouth to taste while I was sticking my tongue down Johnny Depp's throat on a snow-covered mountaintop. Mmmmm, good stuff. I ate another one. And another. After I finished my coffee, I had two to take away the taste of coffee breath. Life was good.

Then around 2:00 it started. A low rumble, like a thunderstorm approaching in the distance. Then I began to fill up with gas like a hot air balloon. My god, was I getting sick? And then it hit me.....Oh god no. I grabbed those Breath Savers mints, scanned the ingredients....and there it was. Aspartame, my mortal enemy. Aspartame and I are old acquaintances.....and due to my negligence, ol' Aspartame was coming 'round to visit a spell, and boy he had really missed me! I went ahead and left work at 3:00....I knew what all was coming. It is now 10:30 p.m. and things are starting to get a little bit better.

I would like to let you know as a PSA that if you believe you have IBS - irritable bowel syndrome, pay special attention to if you have been eating any mints or chewing gums that contain Aspartame. It may be what is causing your symptoms. It is a dangerous toxin and IMHO needs to outlawed. I'd rather eat sugar and just put limit on how much of that I eat. At least sugar is natural. NO MORE CHEMICAL SWEETNERS!