I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, October 07, 2005


When I hit that deer last year, I never realized it was going to be the start of a lifelong mental illness. I'm sooo paranoid! I can't even drive at night anymore without thinking one is going to coming falling out of the sky like that one did last year. Throw on top of that the fact that I'm really not the best night-driver anyway.....and its fast becoming a real problem. And its not even rutting season yet! But its coming....oh, its coming.

First you see them congregating everywhere. Then they come up to the house at night and rub their antlers on the house!!! Its a god-awful noise. I used to think they were just sharpening their antlers or maybe even partaking in some simulated battle practice.....but now I know its the Call of The Wild. That's the deer way of letting me know They Are There....just waiting for me.

Then, when the monstrosity called "hunting season" starts....all the rednecks move into the woods....and all the deer simply move into town. They stand by the side of the road and they wait and they wait and they wait. Finally they spot some headlights! "Hey! Headlights are coming and they're really scary, let's head straight for 'em!" Thus spreading mental illness all over the planet.

Here's how bad its gotten. The other night I was going down a road I don't travel much. It was pitch dark and THERE! Up in the distance! My headlights shone over a deer! I was practically squealing brakes trying to get stopped in time.....and turns out it was a yard waste can with branches in it.

Next stop.....the mental institution. See ya there.

Here's your Halloween Pic of The Day: A real-life haunted house....with a little something extra added!