I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, September 23, 2005


There's a little building close to my home that's been around for quite a few years. It used to be a tiny barbeque restaurant a long time ago....and has undergone several incarnations since then, a used car place and a Mexican church are just two. Finally the day came to tear the place down. I happened to ride by one morning when the bulldozer was getting started on the work. "Awww, how about that?"

Well, I'm on the way home that evening...and the work was done! Not only was the place demolished, it was totally gone! And left in its place was nice, smooth.....pavement?????

Now, I'm not the brightest porch light on the block, but even I know that constructed buildings are supposed to possess SOME kind of foundation. Aren't they? Well, this one didn't. There was no way they had time to demolish the building, truck it all away....and THEN lay smooth pavement down that matches the old pavement.......or is it all just an elaborate scheme to fuck with my mind?

Totally bothered, I inquired of some construction-type people just.......wha? Comes to find out...yes, there are plenty of buildings that don't have foundations. They're just sitting there, on the pavement.

My God.

It almost defies words. What if I'm in a building and it just BLOWS AWAY??? Or if there's an earthquake and the building thump, thump, thumps its way out into the middle of the highway? Or a nice flood comes along and I'm headed down the River Ghetto? When the hell did the building inspectors start passing constructions that have NO FOUNDATIONS? Suddenly everything I ever been taught and believed in is now questionable.

I want to avoid these buildings at all cost. The only problem is...there's no way to tell. They all look the same. Although Miss Manners didn't cover this particular subject in her books, I figure it is probably impolite to be outside someone's business, buried in hedges....trying to inspect the building foundation without permission....and probably beyond impolite to ASK about it.

Just another thing on the LONG list to worry and fret about.

Next bad storm...I'm going to go hang on to the mailbox post. I know that bitch is in the ground.