I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Sunday, August 07, 2005


My Daughter Sparkle. by Brenda

I used to have a normal life until this little baby showed up on the scene. She was pretty I didn't know what to do. And she liked to drink a lot bottles and she used a lot of diapers. When she was learning to walk, she fell on her butt and her diaper had a blowout. When she stood up she had cotton trailing out of her ass.

Ace says Sparkle is being pissy tonight.

I was a working mom, and so she was in daycare. She really enjoyed her daycare. She learned to talk and then she never learned to shut up.

The early years of school were difficult. The glowing "very sociable child" comments quickly turned to "talks excessively in class" comments.

Now she is getting ready to be in the 10th grade. I can't believe it. She still doesn't shut up though. Ace, Bitchard and I were stunned to learn, during the course of regular conversation, that Sparkle does not know who John Wilkes Booth is! She claims she has never heard his name, has never studied him. Ever. Or studied the presidents, for that matter. For a little while there, I was plotting to show up at the school on the first day and demand to know where my tax dollars were going. But gradually I began to realize that her class probably studied Abe Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth long ago, but she probably talked and passed notes through the whole thing.

Ace and Bitchard knew who John Wilkes Booth was, but my daughter didn't know. She can tell you got kicked off America's Top Model last week, though. Ace and I are planning a collaboration on writing a John Wilkes Booth rock song, something like "She Don't Know Who John Wilkes Booth Is" or something.

Sparkle and I helped Ace with his androgynous rock star image.
Make-up: Sparkle
Hair: Brenda

Androgynous mind, androgynous mind
Androgynous mind, androgynous mind
Androgynous mind, androgynous mind
Hey hey its okay, hey hey its okay
Hey hey its okay, hey its okay
- Sonic Youth
Androgynous Mind