I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, July 29, 2005


Hear ye, hear ye.

A further adventure of the Royal Princess....as RELATED by the Princess........

Recently in Ye Olde Kingdom of Ghettoville, the Princess and Sir Spoiled-A-Lot decided to head to the Royal Seashore in Sir Spoiled-A-Lot's carriage. Accompanying them were Sir Harratio and Lady Sarah. Baron Harratio Sr. was in the carriage ahead of them.

About 50 miles inland of the Royal Seashore, the Princess and her entourage noticed that an Unsuitable Carriage with at least 6 rogues aboard kept trying to overtake them, and yelling a lot. These rogues are described by the Princess as being immigrants from a very distant southern kingdom, and quite toothless. The Princess didn't know what to think about all this and ordered the entourage to ignore them and continue their journey.

They arrived at the Royal Seashore, whereupon they were able to evade the 6 rogues and acquire lodgings for their holiday. However, unbeknownst to the entourage, the 6 rogues headed directly the Seashore's Royal Magistrate, insisted that someone aboard the Royal Carriage had thrown something at them and broken the windshield of their Unsuitable Carriage. They had written down the identification number of Sir Spoiled-A-Lot's carriage, and insisted the Royal Seashore Magistrate place the Princess, Sir Spoiled-A-Lot, Sir Harratio and Lady Sarah under arrest.

The Royal Seashore Magistrate did NOT arrest the Princess and her entourage, but he did find them and take them to the Royal Police Station and question them in the presence of the 6 rogues. The Princess got on the Royal Cell Phone and called the Queen, who flipped out. After much indecision and hand-wringing, the Queen finally contacted the Exiled King, who in turn flipped out also.

The Exiled King called the Royal Magistrate's office and really let him have it. How can these rogues prove that the Princess and her entourage were responsible for a break in the windshield of the Unsuitable Carriage? The Royal Magistrate responded that the rogues had followed the entourage for at least 50 miles and he doubted that those rogues would follow them for so long if something hadn't happened......which shows absolute flawed intelligence and reasoning. The Queen hotly retorted that the Royal Carriage was in need of a new windshield, perhaps she should just go roam the Kingdom until she spots some guillible young randoms and report that THEY broke the Royal Carriage windshield, so a free one could be obtained. The Royal Magistrate hemmed and hawed and was a general jackass.

The Royal Magistrate in action.

Meanwhile, the Princess insisted there was no way anyone in the entourage was responsible for the broken windshield. There is some doubt and rumor in the Kingdom of Ghettoville, as it is well known that the Princess would do anything to protect Sir Spoiled-A-Lot, but in the end the Royal Parents realized their daughter was most likely telling the truth as she knew it.

The resolution of this KingdomTragedy came about when the King and Queen, upon discussing the matter amongst themselves, realized that they have neither the time or the money to be running back and forth to the Royal Seashore for court dates, hiring a solicitor, and possibly having to pay court costs if His Highness the Judge were to rule against the entourage. It was decided that the quickest and most convenient way to resolve the matter would be for the Princess and her entourage to submit to the charges of the rogues, and divide the cost of the windshield four ways.

The Queen remains in a state of Royal Pissed-Offedness though, and is plotting a future invasion of the Royal Seashore Magistrate's office and sentencing the Royal Magistrate himself to the guillotine. The rogues would be well advised to flee the entire Kingdom immediately, as the Queen is plotting their impalement outside the gates of the Kingdom. The Queen has also declared to anyone that will listen that if this incident had occurred within the immediate Kingdom, those rogues would have had a fight to the end.....quite lame really, but it does seem to lift her spiritually to make such threats.

Both the King and Queen are hoping, that if the Princess and her entourage are being anything less than truthful, that a major Royal Lesson as been learned.