I would have ruled this world too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Friday, January 28, 2005


I went to the doctor today and it was a total exercise in futility. We discussed what all has been going on with me and he did the required "hmmm"ing and making marks on his clipboard. "Well its obviously a virus, not a bacteria" and you know this how exactly? "You're immune system seems to be low"....uh, yeah.....and "No its not menopause" - ha! You know I had to ask! Bottom line, he doesn't know what is wrong. I have an appointment to go to the lab. When they don't know what to do with you, they send you to the lab and put you on the slab. But at least I did get the Holy Grail Doctor's Work Note excusing my slackness over the past week. I just might keep this job yet.

Somebody gave me a Kenny Wayne Shepherd CD for Christmas and I put it in my car for when the day came I wanted to hear some Stevie Ray Vaughan. There's a subtle put-down in that prior sentence if you look closer. So today I finally shoved it in the CD player and I couldn't believe it! Ol' Kenny Wayne has graduated from the Academy of SRV Parody and has moved up to directly ripping off Foghat, Ted Nugent and Lynyrd Skynyrd riffs. Notice that I didn't say paying tribute. Nope, this is direct rip off of riffs. God, its appalling and if I belonged to any of the aforementioned bands I would be highly pissed.

I just wish I could sit down with Kenny Wayne Shepherd and tell him...."Look, you're a wonderful guitar player but you have to get original!" Surely there's some talented out-of-work songwriter out there who could help Kenny come into his own. I heard Ashlee Simpson is going to start writing. It could work.

And finally.....here's part of an email I received today.....supposedly this depicts some of the sea animals that washed up after the Tsunami.

"Hey Dude! I haven't seen you around since "Alien"!

Just go away. I want to be alone. Leave me to my brooding.

"Sing a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy song"......

That shell has meatballs!

"Honey, I just can't WAIT to get out there and skinny dip with you in the ocean!"

"Mom, they didn't have any ice cream at the store, so we brought you this instead."

"She's not really that pretty but she has the most GORGEOUS green eyes....and a good personality, too!"

"Yeah Doc, I've been feeling kind of down.....and don't laugh....but I think I have the BLUES."

"WELCOME TO HELL!" I think this is called a GothFish.

"And guess what happened after I FOUND Nemo!"

"I see your true colors, shining through.....I see your true colors and that's why I love you..."

For some reason, this makes me think of Pac Man.

"Whaddaya mean, Maryland spanked Duke last night?"

"Now that I've been caught lip-syncing, does this mean my music career is over?"