I accompanied Sparkle to Taco Bell since it was getting rather late and I didn't want her out alone. There we were in the drive-thru. 10 minutes later, we were still in the drive-thru. 10 minutes after that, we were still in the drive-thru. There was no escape, other than driving up on the curb and plowing through the lawn. I didn't have a problem with that, but Sparkle was driving and I'm not sure she has enough driving experience to pull off a good "driving up the curb, tearing up the grass" getaway.
The natives were getting restless, too. One guy behind us had started screaming "WTF?!" out of his window at regular intervals. That was making me nervous. What could I do?
I got on the cell phone and dialed directory assistance and got hooked up with Taco Bell. The phone rang at least 40 times. I figured "what the hell" because if they don't mind leaving us to die in their drive-thru, I don't mind getting on their last nerve by letting their phone ring. Finally a lady answers and I was extremely nice. Southern nice. Quite professional.
"Um, yes, I'm sitting in your drive-thru right now, and we've been here for about 25 minutes, and I was wondering if you could provide a time frame of when we could expect to be served?"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I hear her turn around and begin SCREAMING at her employees. "MANUEL, WHAT ARE DOING? WHA- WHAT- WHAT THE HELL?" She gets back on the telephone. "Ma'am I am so sorry, the line is getting ready to move right now" Me: "OK, that's cool, we just wanted to make sure you were okay." Sparkle: "Oh yeah, right, that's such a lie, Mom!" But the line moved. After the first car finally pulled away, the second car pulled away right behind it. I'm guessing they were murderously angry and figured it was best to just get the hell out of there. The third car gets up there....and I'm not sure what happened, just some angry voices. Then an arm comes out the window, waves money temptingly at the server, and drives away. Meanwhile, behind us, Mr. Angry yells "WTF!?" again. The next car was us. You should have seen those people scurrying to get us served. But we were cool, didn't say anything to them. I felt a lot of pain for those employees that were going to have to deal with Mr. WTF, though. I'm thinking its about time to give Sparkle some "driving up the curb, tearing up the grass" getaway lessons.
Once I asked a person why we never got togther anymore, were we still friends? And this person tells me that they were uncomfortable with a friendship where everything was so laid back. This person said that they could sense that no matter what, there was nothing they could ever do to make me not care about them anymore! And gave the example that if Monica Lewinsky had been my personal friend, I would probably still be standing there defending her! WTH, man? Of course I would have stood by ol' Monica, even though she was being super-slutty, a freaking dingbat, and using tobacco tampons to boot! I guess everyone else would have deserted Monica when the going got tough? Well I guess they did desert her, actually. I thought friendship was supposed to be forever basically, and that you stand by your friends and love them even if they are the biggest screw-ups ever. Maybe you don't agree with something a friend did, but you still support them as a friend.
I swear to God, I think I grew up reading too many Little House on the Prarie books, and I know I watched way too many Andy Griffith episodes. I drank all that friendship and loyalty and honesty crap in and believed every bit of it. And it has caused me no end of heartbreak in my adult life. My mother really should have monitored my media intake a little bit better.
I mean, if you prefer to have friends that are going to run at the first sign of choppy waters, then I guess that's cool, but I guess we probably shouldn't be friends. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable.